180° - a new perspective

Moved

2006-09-03T22:10:00.000+08:00

HAHA! I did it again. I've moved to wordpress @ punpunrider.wordpress.com. So yeah.

Stoned

2006-06-09T11:58:00.000+08:00

Note: You need Windows Media Player 10 to watch this movie!

KLIMS 2006

2006-06-04T21:08:00.000+08:00

Helooo...

Duh.

2006-05-29T12:11:00.000+08:00

Its' been an OK week. Met up with the gang, and it's nice to see how everyone's getting on with their lives. After a week of lazing in the office, it's about time the work starts flowing in. Got my source files, so yeah.. at least I wont be bored to death sitting infront of the PC and trolling forums :)

Anyways, been hanging out with the club guys allot recently. I've always found "internet" friends to be more genuine - they have less politics surrounding their meets. Sure, you're probably gonna call us a bunch of geeks, but at least they dont bring their personal agendas and perogatives out with them.

Went to KLIMS last week on the press preview day, under one of the few press priviledges i have left. It was pretty OK... OK only lah I guess... Girls looked pretty thrashy this time around, but it aint their fault their bosses want them to look that way huh? The Honda girls looked horrible... they had this Aeon Flux meets China Dolls hairstyle theme which, honestly, was an eye sore. The Mitsubishi girls were ok, but top points go to Volvo - classy and sexy. Mmm mmm good.

On a side note, I've been reading through a throng of anti-LB blogs. All I can say is get a life folks. Honestly, you fucked up in your venture and turning sour. Immature? Indeed. You blame it on brain washing? I blame it on personal greed and of course stupidity. It's like smoking your whole life and when you get cancer, you blame it on the ciggies. It's like speeding on a highway and when you get saman, you blame it on the highway's "low" speed limit. Take a hint guys, you aint helping no one by bitching about it - you're just making yourselves look like loosers. Complain to the govt. ? Why? It's a legal business entity. Make a police report? Why? Cos you're too stupid to distinguish a good opportunity and a stupid one? Oh, sure I might hate LB too, but it's not because of the money. See, I'm smarter than you guys, by saying NO when I had to.

Pfft.

Quotable quotes

2006-05-15T23:30:00.000+08:00

Geek/IRC humor at its best...

(SPLURGE) bitch tells me i got a drinkin problem
(SPLURGE) i tell her she has an ugly problem and im tryin to make it less obvious
(SPLURGE) we dont get along so well after that

(andyroo) So, whats everyones new years resolution?
(AnimeMan) no more lacking sex
(AnimeMan) 2 times a day minimum
(AnimeMan) what about you andyroo?
(andyroo) With every passing moment, I want to type more gramatically.
(andyroo) I'm just practicing at the moment.
(andyroo) I want to believe that I'm smart, while others think I'm a d#8khead.
(andyroo) Hopefully, now and again an intelligent operator will ban me for this
(AnimeMan) hahah
(AnimeMan) you forgot a period
(AnimeMan) hopefully god doesn't forget to give my gf one

(brently) i want a girl
(enigmiac) me too
(brently) a good girl
(enigmiac) we'll see
(brently) a partner
(enigmiac) good girls are hard to fuck
(enigmiac) er,
(enigmiac) find FIND!
(enigmiac) I MEANT TO SAY FIND
(brently) mmhmm

(Auratus) I'm making fun of you because I can
(DeepSeaFishin) Well its thanksgiving
(DeepSeaFishin) and we should be giving thanks to each other
(Auratus) I give thanks for the fact that i can make fun of you over the internet

spE4Ce pREtZEL01: how do I end up being a therapist for all my old gfs
OMGIMJ4KE: comes with the territory
OMGIMJ4KE: same thing happened with mine
spE4Ce pREtZEL01: not that I mind, I love 'em all
spE4Ce pREtZEL01: collect 'em, trade 'em, show 'em to your friends
OMGIMJ4KE: gotta catch em all
spE4Ce pREtZEL01: Wendymon, I choose you! Bipolar attack!
OMGIMJ4KE: "Im happy! Now im sad!"
OMGIMJ4KE: Monster is confused!

(Robyn) then we realised that james had fucked with the bunsen burner
(Robyn) and set the lab on fire
(Robyn) penis ensued
(tempura) ...penis?
(Robyn) panic
(Robyn) PANIC
(Robyn) shit

(JonJonB) Purely in the interests of science, I have replaced the word "wand" with "wang" in the first Harry Potter Book
(JonJonB) Let's see the results...
(JonJonB) "Why aren't you supposed to do magic?" asked Harry.
(JonJonB) "Oh, well -- I was at Hogwarts meself but I -- er -- got expelled, ter tell yeh the truth. In me third year. They snapped me wang in half an' everything
(JonJonB) A magic wang... this was what Harry had been really looking forward to.
(JonJonB) "Yes, yes. I thought I'd be seeing you soon. Harry Potter." It wasn't a question. "You have your mother's eyes. It seems only yesterday she was in here herself, buying her first wang. Ten and a quarter inches long, swishy, made of willow. Nice wang for charm work."
(JonJonB) "Your father, on the other hand, favored a mahogany wang. Eleven inches. "
(JonJonB) Harry took the wang. He felt a sudden warmth in his fingers. He raised the wang above his head, brought it swishing down through the dusty air and a stream of red and gold sparks shot from the end like a firework, throwing dancing spots of light on to the walls
(JonJonB) "Oh, move over," Hermione snarled. She grabbed Harry's wang, tapped the lock, and whispered, 'Alohomora!"
(JonJonB) The troll couldn't feel Harry hanging there, but even a troll will notice if you stick a long bit of wood up its nose, and Harry's wang had still been in his hand when he'd jumped - it had gone straight up one of the troll's nostrils.
(JonJonB) He bent down and pulled his wang out of the troll's nose. It was covered in what looked like lumpy gray glue.
(JonJonB) He ran onto the field as you fell, waved his wang, and you sort of slowed down before you hit the ground. Then he whirled his wang at the dementors. Shot silver stuff at them.
(JonJonB) Ok
(JonJonB) I have found, definitive proof
(JonJonB) that J.K Rowling is a dirty DIRTY woman, making a fool of us all
(JonJonB) "Yes," Harry said, gripping his wang very tightly, and moving into the middle of the deserted classroom. He tried to keep his mind on flying, but something else kept intruding.... Any second now, he might hear his mother again... but he shouldn't think that, or he would hear her again, and he didn't want to... or did he?
(melusine ) O_______O
(JonJonB) Something silver-white, something enormous, erupted from the end of his wang
(JonJonJonB) Then, with a sigh, he raised his wang and prodded the silvery substance with its tip.
(JonJonJonB) 'Get - off - me!' Harry gasped. For a few seconds they struggled, Harry pulling at his uncles sausage-like fingers with his left hand, his right maintaining a firm grip on his raised wang.

DragonflyBlade21: A woman has a close male friend. This means that he is probably interested in her, which is why he hangs around so much. She sees him strictly as a friend. This always starts out with, you're a great guy, but I don't like you in that way. This is roughly the equivalent for the guy of going to a job interview and the company saying, You have a great resume, you have all the qualifications we are looking for, but we're not going to hire you. We will, however, use your resume as the basis for comparison for all other applicants. But, we're going to hire somebody who is far less qualified and is probably an alcoholic. And if he doesn't work out, we'll hire somebody else, but still not you. In fact, we will never hire you. But we will call you from time to time to complain about the person that we hired.

(mage) what should I give sister for unzipping?
(Kevyn) Um. Ten bucks?
(mage) no I mean like, WinZip?

(kow`) "There are 10 types of people in the world... those who understand binary and those who don't."
(SpaceRain) That's only 2 types of people, kow.
(SpaceRain) STUPID

(VolteFace`) don't you hate it when you shit on the floor, and you can hear it fall but you have no idea where it actually landed, and spend like 5 minutes looking for it
(peng) ...
(peng) what?
(VolteFace`) oh shit
(VolteFace`) don't you hate it when you DROP shit

(ohm) damn
(ohm) FUCK
(ohm) DAMN
(ohm) i was just in an AIM convo with a chick, and my grandmother's window pops up
(ohm) FUCK
(ohm) i go like this to her
(ohm) "i want to suck on your clit"
(ohm) FUCK

(Locl-Yocl) I helped the EMTs at a car wreck and got blood all over my arms and shirt. It looked like I murdered 20 people with a fork... anyway, I walked into a convieniance store down the street and said my girlfriend needs a tampon. The guy at the counter was mortified.

(xxxGirlygirlxxx) Thank you for listening to me.
(xxxGirlygirlxxx) You know your a really good listener.
(xxxGirlygirlxxx) Sweety please say something.
(Sandaedar) Ok I'm back.

JAAAA!!!

2006-05-15T02:44:00.000+08:00

OMFG!

Hahahah maybe not..

My blog has been dead for quite a while - but it's not like I've had NOTHING to write about... On the contrary, I have tons of shit to (write about), but it's just this nagging feeling that I have in me - OH YES! It's called laziness.

By golly me, I think the world is turning upside down. Someone actually asked me for advise - not just the pansy "I like her la... how ah" kind. No no my brethren, it's the "should I continue my studies or not" kind. Phew... what a dumb kid.

I proceeded to pwn him about what he should/shouldn't do, and that's that. One thing's for sure - these new aged kids are real pricks. Pricks in every sense of the word. They expect to be fed with all the experience and education they need from their uni. Well bollocks to that. They can bitch about how little practical experience they get from uni, but cant be bothered to work on getting it themselves. This particular guy, wants to work in the TV production line, and says that uni doesnt give him enough practical. I told him to STFU and go get it yourself. Jeez... make a short movie, and edit it, and viola - one piece of exprience. Go do your internship and viola, yet another piece of experience.

I don't want to sound like a bitch even though I am one, but yeah kid - use some of that stuff you call a brain. Dont expect everything to be given to you. Dont expect a big fat pay check upon graduation. Dont expect working life to be a walk in the park. Dont expect to go anywhere in your career without even a basic education. Dont expect pricks like me to talk to you with proper sentences, and not fucking you for asking stupid questions.

And what would I classify as a stupid question? "Which is better? 10 A's and no experience or 1 A and lots of experience?". Thats stupid. What's a stupid assumption? "If I work for the 2 years it takes me to complete my degree, I would get enough experience to cover it back". Thats just stupid.

From my view, especially in broadcasting, education IS essential. Just look at a mixer. As a production assistant with no experience and no degree, I seriously doubt that the company will let you fool around with the machine - just so you can get experience. You'll probably have to spend a year of discreet "spying" to understand the functions. You'll probably only need two months in uni to know the usages and maybe a few more years to perfect your skills. Get my drift?

But, tell you the truth, I'm not half fucked at what this kid is going to do. He could end up on the streets for all I care. Hah! Yes, I make fun of retards and pour salt on peoples wounds. I kick animals and slap babies. Im a mean guy. Thats what I do the best!

Hmmm...

2006-04-25T12:59:00.000+08:00

Site's been pretty dead for a while... so here's a quick view on what's keeping me busy today :)

Guess what?

2006-04-12T16:57:00.000+08:00

It's happened again! /gg

I'm made out to be the bad guy, the root of all evil, the cause of pain, the nemesis, the black sheep (not in a racist black kind of way), the instigator, the bastard, the (insert your snide remark here).

I won't go preaching on how I'm supposed to be the victim here, cos I don't like the word victim.

victim

n
1: an unfortunate person who suffers from some adverse circumstance
2: a person who is tricked or swindled

Well, even though you could call this whole situation an "adverse circumstance", I'm thinking of it more as a SNAFU...

SNAFU

adj
: snarled or stalled in complete confusion; "situation normal--all fucked-up"

n
: an acronym often used by soldiers in World War II: situation normal all fucked up

v
: cause to be in a state of complete confusion

Oh yeah.. SNAFU indeed! :)

Anyways, what I do find weird, is how I was the one supposed to be angry at the situation, but in turn, I'm on the receiving end? Really weird stuff - less than 48 hours ago I get an alcohol laced SMS, and now I'm looking at a REALLY angry status message on MSN. Wow.

Well, it was bound to happen sooner or later. Gosh, things have just been going wrong all over the place - I got into a fight with a stranger at Hartamas, my PC's HDD died, my notebook's LCD monitor died, I gimped my leg and got stuck at home with a high fever, and more shit keeps pouring in.

I really, REALLY feel like I'm working for Alam Flora now - I work all day long trying to do my job, I work under the hot sun and pouring rain, go through all the hardships of work, and at the end of the day when I look at my loot, all I get is a big fat stinkin pile 'o shit.

Died

2006-04-10T12:38:00.000+08:00

My 20.4G HDD just died :(

Bye bye MP3s....

The Calling?

2006-04-05T00:04:00.000+08:00

Let's face it - everyone want's to be famous. The only thing that defers, is the way we do it.

Some people have it easy - they're either rich, good looking, or in extreme cases, both.

Rich people can buy their way into stardom, or rather, get stardom knocking on their front door. Without even lifting a finger, people come knocking on their doors - inviting them to charity galas, calling them up for sponsorship, or in most cases, plain sucking up in hopes of leeching off some riches.

Now, before I sound like sour grapes, let me tell you this - if the said rich person got rich off his/her own effort (i.e. working their asses/brains off), then hats off to them. They definately deserve the lime light. What I can't take is their offspring / groupies, who just plain leech off their riches while reaping off the benefits of being rich - they get all the chicks, all the fame, all the exclusivity and all the groupies. But then again, fuck that. I wouldn't be happy basking off some one elses glory.

Good looking people get their fair share of free pub - i.e. commercials, acting roles, modeling assignments etc... but technically, it isn't their fault they don't have to work for it. They were born with good looking genes, so yeah... bravo to you.

Now, before I start sounding like a headless chicken (i.e. I'm not making a point), or a rabid bitch barking madly (i.e. I'm just cussing everyone else), I want to point out that I am not bitter with:

a. The world
b. The rich people
c. The good looking people
d. People in general
e. Myself
f. My situation
g. The human race
h. Did I mention the world?

p.s. I'm not drunk either, bitch.

So since I'm not bitter (for fucken once) you might be wondering to yourself, "what the FUCK are you going on and on about then?". Well, I guess this post stemmed from a question some one asked me recently.

Q: How do you enjoy working in the media industry so far?
A: So far so good lor...
Q: Good... So do you think you'll stay in your line for a long time?
A: Don't know leh... I guess so...
Q: Ah, don't want to try other things meh?
A: Want!
Q: Like what?
A: *confidence* LIKE *end confidence* ... I ... don't know leh...
Q: Tiu.

Well, I spent a few sleepless nights pondering over that question, and after projecting my possible career tree, I think I've finally come up with the answer.

Career Tree
(Ok, so it's not really a tree...)

Writer -> Senior Writer -> Assistant/Deputy Editor -> Editor -> Editor-in-Chief

Time Line

1 YR -> 1.5-2 YR -> 2.5 YR -> 3 YR -> *insert date current EIC resigns* YR

At first glance, the career path might seem pretty straight forward - even more so as my editorial team consists of a whopping 3 (THREE) staff. So much for healthy competition eh?

I like what I do - and I think I can do it pretty well too. I enjoy my job; or rather I enjoy the environment in which I do my job. It's not exactly the boiling pot people make it out to be, nor is it the stroll in the park some friends think it is. There's a good balance of challenge, freedom, stress and creativity involved, but on the flipside, there's a massive amount of responsibility, multi tasking and occasional pressure resting on my shoulders.

I don't wish to fuck up in my job, even though I have already made some major fuck ups to date. I have a good team and a good mentor, and I really appreciate them, but somehow I did realize that maybe my true calling isn't in the magazine industry.

You guys probably know me best as a sarcastic loud mouthed joker, and I'm thinking that since I'm neither rich, good looking, overly talented, unboundedly creative and uberly hard working, I might stand a good chance at making money through the only thing I'm good at - making an ass out of other people.

Posting about my future plans on a blog that's openly accessable to the world (i.e. colleagues), I might not post much juicy juicy here. For the record, I am not saying that I'm going to/planning to quit my job any time soon, but rather, I'd like to state that I'm going to do more and more research/look for more and more jalan to get my arse into the road I want to travel.

Wish me luck peeps, I'm going to need it!

p.s. I've shamelessly added a donation button on the right hand bar. Heh heh heh. Come on guys, help me finance my dreams!!

Shameless self promotion @ Stuff MY March 2006

MIA

2006-03-29T13:40:00.000+08:00

Hi mofos. It's been a while, I must admit, and tons of shit has gone down. I planned many entries, and I shall not make up any sappy excuses as to why I haven't been updating - there's only one reason, which is the truth: I'VE BEEN TOO FUCKING LAZY HAHAHA. Oh, and I've started playing another MMORPG, so that should be self explanitory enough. GG.

Anyways, here's a quick update to what's been goin down recently.

1. I got my new car already. It's not the tiboo green that I initially planned to get, nor is it the red one. It's the black one, so yeah. It's black.

2. Went to catch the Sepang F1 race, grand stand ticket/transport/beer/F1 gear courtesy of O2. I was pretty worried when I didn't come prepared - I didn't have my sunblock (not that I tan anyway), my ear plugs (I did bring the Zen tho..), my cap (I gelled), binos (to check out the supposed scantily clad female spectators with), and an airy t-shirt (resorted to a red soccer jersey which made people think I was a Ferrari buff, pfft) - O2 provided us with a kick ass goodie back containing all the shaits that we would need, and more! Thanks Addy!

3. Had a round of seafood in Kuala Selangor, for our second weekly pseudo-singles night out. Planned the third outing to Malacca, but due to the last minute nature of the planning, response was, in the lack of another word - FUCKED. I ended up being the only member of the KL crew in Malacca, but it was still kick ass. Big-up to all the Malacca crew, especially those who ain't in KL - Kenny K, The Horrible, Jem ICE & special guest appearance by Pilot Z.

4. Looks like April is goin to be a busy month - I have a trip down to JB planned on the 6th and 7th, so any JB folks out there, drop me a line so we can indulge in some dodgy stuff together - I'm gonna a good guide, cos cheonging alone in a strange foreign place isn't really my cup of tea. Hints of other trips - i.e. enquiry from Kingston for the Computex fair in Taiwan leave me wondering...

5. I've finally got my hands on a SLR! It might not be the most professional/popular models out there, but I reckon it's something good to start out with - it's the Olympus E330. So far, so good - I've successfully ~~perved~~ tested the camera at an event earlier today - the results: mmmmmm...

6. Supposed to get a review car lined up - either an Alfa or the new Civic. No news on that yet tho...

7. Drooling over the prospect of receiving the new Dell 30-inch (yes, thats T-H-I-R-T-Y) LCD monitor. God damn, I don't even know if it'll fit on the fucking desk!!

8. I started MMORPG-ing again. It's the closest thing to WOW that I've played so far and it's called Silk Road Online and it's free! It uses a Gunbound-ish system, whereby you can BUY stuff for cash. It's fucking cool and addictive and shit, and even Mr. Han is playing it. So be warned: I'm going to be extremely anti-social after working hours, and if you do plan to join this game, drop me a PM in-game.

9. A friend of mine joined the Haier Super Star search. I had no fucking idea the thing even existed, so just for kicks, I registered myself too! Hah, eat that mofos. So vote for me, and I promise world peace!!! VOTE HERE MOFO.

I swear there's something I'm missing out here, but fuck that.

Doctor Who?

2006-03-24T12:18:00.000+08:00

Yes, I stole it from my colleague, but still...

HEALTH QUESTION & ANSWER SESSION

Q: I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life; is this true?

A: Your heart is only good for so many beats, and that's it... don't
waste them on exercise. Everything wears out eventually. Speeding up
your heart will not make you live longer; that's like saying you can
extend the life of your car by driving it faster. Want to live longer?
Take a nap.

Q:Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and vegetables?

A: You must grasp logistical efficiencies. What does a cow eat? Hay
and corn. And what are these? Vegetables. So a steak is nothing more
than an efficient mechanism of delivering vegetables to your system.
Need grain? Eat chicken. Beef is also a good source of field grass
(green leafy vegetable). And a pork chop can give you 100% of your
recommended daily allowance of vegetable products.

Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake?

A: No, not at all. Wine is made from fruit. Brandy is distilled wine,
that means they take the water out of the fruity bit so you get even
more of the goodness that way. Beer is also made out of grain. Bottoms
up!

Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?

A: Well, if you have a body and you have fat, your ratio is one to
one. If you have two bodies, your ratio is two to one, etc.

Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular
exercise program?

A: Can't think of a single one, sorry. My philosophy is: No Pain...Good!

Q: Aren't fried foods bad for you?

A: YOU'RE NOT LISTENING!!!... Foods are fried these days in vegetable
oil. In fact, they're permeated in it. How could getting more
vegetables be bad for you?

Q: Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around the
middle?

A : Definitely not! When you exercise a muscle, it gets bigger. You
should only be doing sit-ups if you want a bigger stomach.

Q: Is chocolate bad for me?

A: Are you crazy? HELLO. Cocoa beans! Another vegetable!!! It's the
best feel-good food around!

Q: Is swimming good for your figure?

A: If swimming is good for your figure, explain whales to me.

Q: Is getting in-shape important for my lifestyle?

A: Hey! 'Round' is a shape!

Well, I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have had
aboutfood and diets.

And remember:
"Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of
arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather
toskid in sideways - Chardonnay in one hand - chocolate in the other -
body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming "WOO HOO, What
a Ride"

Proton Hero

2006-03-18T05:59:00.000+08:00

It's not often you'll hear this - Proton owned Toyota.

Went over to Sepang for ATB's gig. It was wonderful. Decided to abstain today, so I had 4 bottles of mineral water (RM10 x 4) and a coke (RM10 x 1) instead. I had fun. Saw this nice looking girl, but didn't dare to chat her up. Anyways, girl, if you're reading this, do drop me a line... hahahaha as if. *dreams on*

Anyways, left venue at about 1.30am. ATB had left and it was DJ Montreal / Monaco / Monghomary something playing hard house. It was pretty decent, but we were shit tired. We decided to leave, and once I pulled out of the parking lot and was down the road, some dumb fucking cunt smashed into the side of my car. Damn tulan. Had to spend 1 hour locating the "nearest" police station. Fucking pain I tell ya - especially when I had to lug him around in my car, since my car completely owned his. HAHA.

The contender - Wern Shen - steps out from the red corner (police station)

Walking off into the sunset (sunrise) to face battle...

Proton Wira - Exhibit A

Proton Wira - Exhibit B

Proton Wira - Exhibit C

The remains of the Toyota Vios - WHO's THE JEW NOW MOTHER FUCKER!

Sorry my balls

2006-03-15T11:07:00.000+08:00

Sorry is such an over used word. People shoot it out of their mouths blindly - without even thinking what the word should mean, without really feeling the need to say it. They just say it to make themselves feel better, when in actual fact, it should be said to make the receiver feel better.

Pfft. Well you know what? Dont fucking say it if you dont mean it. Dont say you mean it just cause you see me bitching about it now either motherfucker. The more you say it, the less people are going to appreciate your little act of comfort. ACT of comfort. Hahaha. Mother fucker.

So, if you're feeling like you owe someone an apology for no aparent reason, I'd suggest you down a big tall cup of SHUT THE FUCK UP. Saying empty sorries isnt going to help - it will only make you look like a fucking jack ass (unless you already do, it'll make you look like an idiotic motherfucker instead).

Popping up unannounced and uninvited just to drop a sorry and then dissapearing doesnt help. It only makes you look like a bigger motherfucker. But then again, maybe that's what you want to look like? Maybe that's what you're trying to achive? Maybe you're just retarded? HAHA.

Reflections and a preview

2006-03-14T02:21:00.000+08:00

Its been a long weekend.

Once again, we went out for a nice cozy dinner - this time at Kuala Selangor. I wasnt sure if the food would suite the girl's taste buds, but Lili, MP and Cindy seemed to love the boiled shell food! I felt so relieved to see everyone leaving the venue on a full tummy!

I had a food overload today as well. Started the day off with Nisin from Kim Gary, then headed off to Modestos for a pasta lunch. Ended the day with a sinful meal of KFC and finished a whole pack of Hi-Sour Cherry bombs by the end of the day.

My deadline this month has been pushed way forward to tomorrow. Technically, it hasnt been pushed forward, but rather last months deadline went way way over due (2 weeks overdue for ed, 3 for sent to print). Shocking to say the least.

Because of that, I stayed in the office till about 1 today. The net connection was down since 8, so I managed to get a ton of writing done! :) I only have like 5 more write-ups to do before I call editorial wraps, and continue updating my pricing. Havent even touched the buying guides yet! ARGH!!

Today was a day full of good news tho. Firstly, my dad called me to inform me that my new car will be ready for pick up within the week. My initial choice of red wasnt readily available, so we settled for the second choice of black. I guess it's a good thing too, cos the red ones werent the bright reds that the evos or even kenaris have. Match the black paint with a dark tinting and the ride should look pretty pimped out for the time being. I'll probably only start really looking for body kits and rims once I get the car - no point choosing them now I guess!

Second good news came from my colleague. See, with the way the business works, were usually slumped with tons of editorial requests. Last month I had over 30 writeups to do - 25 of which were editorial requests. This month I only had 20 requests, so that's a whole burden off my shoulder. On the other hand, I guess that means that I'll only be spending another 1 or 2 days back in the office. Sigh. I guess Im too used to staying back for a whole week. It might seem crazy to want more work, but I guess it's the work that keeps me going. Lets just say, it keeps my mind off things.

Thirdly, it looks like she's found someone special. I guess turning me down was a good thing - I dont think I could give her what she wanted anyways. Wish her all the best.

Fourthly, ATB is coming to town!! Hopefully I managee to get my new car by then, so I can whack off the 1000km by driving down to KLIA! HAHAHAHHA... smart leh? Damn... ATB on Friday, Tiesto on Saturday... I would love to go for both, but as it looks, ATB seems to be the most viable option - mainly cos of the cover charge? A measley RM20 + 1 drink some more!! Wah.... anyways I will try to ask around the office for some free tickets... who knows, I might get lucky?

Fifth, Redzone were offering free tickets upon registration, but the catch is that you'll have to collect them between 6-9pm. The thing is, I'll have to be in the heart of KL (probably Shangri-La) hotel at 7pm. Why? Well, lets just say Im going to interview one of the hottest sports celebrities in the world. Im not supposed to tell who he is... BUT I CANT HELP IT... IM TOO DAMNED EXCITED!! JAJAJAJAJAJJA...

*suspense begins*
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Here's a clue - He drives F1.
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Here's another clue - He is Finnish.
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Here's another clue - It aint Mika.
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Coming this Friday.
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(Click for full image)

The great battle!

P.S. Sorry guys n girls, I'll probably be late for ATB... Oh well... It's all about give and take rite? :)

Vote!

2006-03-09T18:35:00.000+08:00

Oh ya... one more thing.. Starlight Cinema is coming up pretty soon. I MIGHT have some extra tickets for you guys huhuhuhuhuhuhuhu... Anyways, they're currently running a design competition and a friend of mine has submitted an entry (number 18). Compared to the rest, his looks pretty good (it's number 18), so you might want to hop over to the site and vote (for number 18). Hopefully someone (number 18) will win ... and we can all have a good night out at Starlight :P

VOTE FOR #18 YA!!

Steady Boom Pit Pit

2006-03-09T17:15:00.000+08:00

I had a long discussion with a friend of mine about the potential of blogs. He, being a sort of blog evangelist, had nothing but praise for them. I, the cynic that I always am, didnt agree with lots of his views. We managed to come to a point in the conversation where we both agreed that things are easier said than done - as is all aspects of life.

I said I wanted to loose weight and quit snacking... its 5.30 pm and Im fucking urging to get knick a bite of... hmm... keropok lekor maybe? FUCK NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Must...

...wait...

...for...

...dinner...

Once again, Im struck with the writing block... fucking hell I always.. ALWAYS freeze up when I get my list of writeups for the month... sigh.. Boss lady told me that we are going to finish everything by deadline day (tuesday) so it looks like it's goin to be a tight weekend.

On the bright side, we're going for dinner again saturday. Those who came for last weeks dinner are invited for another one this week. Tentatively we're planning to go down to kuala selangor for seafood, but that's only a tentative plan. I love that word - sounds like tenticle. Tenticles remind me of hentai... huhuhuhu.. NOOOOOO!! NO PORN!!!!

I might get an alfa to test drive this weekend... but the people in charge havent gotten back to me yet. I wonder which model it would be.... damn... so kan cheong!! AHAHAHHAHA...

Anyways... Im sure this post looks like a pile of bull crap as it is. I promise a more refined one once Im at home. It's all in a vain effort to unclog my fucking brain - to get the creative juices flowing. You know, all that shit.

P.S. Just for kicks, I decided to register some URL redirectors. You can reach my page now via cibai.co.nr or cibai.bigbig.com. HAHAHAH rawks.

(Jacking) off to a new start.

2006-03-09T01:05:00.000+08:00

I hate it when I find things out the hard way.

I joined my colleagues for futsal today vs how everyone put it as - "some team from some other magazine". Needless to say, we got our asses whooped (but we sure put up a hell of a fight didnt we boys!!). I was fucking hyped up after watching some ppl play and hopped in when one of my colleagues got tired. Barely 5 minutes later, my knees started giving way. It was strange - I still had the stamina to run around, but my knees were on the verge of breaking. I couldnt take it any more, so I subbed out. I took a long rest and felt much better, and went back in again. A lil more running around, and my knees stated being fuckers again and started failing on me.

If you played futsal with me recently, you'd realize that I've picked up a knack for going all out - throwing my body into challenges/chances on goal/to intercept passes etc, but today was differant. I kept falling unintentionally, coz my knees offered the rest of my body no support at all. I tried to make a short sprint to pass but I fucked up real bad - my knees ate up all my strength, so I resigned to the bench for the remainder of the game.

I asked a colleague if a knee brace would help, but he just gave me a snug grin and told me - "lu kuat tua fei kei laaaaa". I thought to myself - FUCK HE's RITE!!! HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHA.... Bloody hell. And if that wasn't enough, he told me that "one drop of sperm equals to fourty drops of blood". I replied "wah fuck...", then it struck me. "WAH! ONE TIME SHOOT WILL COME OUT MILLION OF SPERM WOR!!!". He laughed and nodded his head - point made.

So taking this into account, I proceeded to analyze myself, and man, I came to the conclusion that I'm in bad shape - physically, emotionally, and... oh did I already mention physically?

*rant starts*

Physically

Problem:
I weigh a lil over a hundred kilos. Im over weight.
I wear size 38 pants. Im over weight.
I wear XL shirts - some of them cant even fit me. Im over weight.
I eat too much. Im over weight.
I drink too much beer. Im over weight.

Solution:
Friends keep bugging me to join a gym. I just might.....
Start jogging. Any one willing to accompany?
Eat breakfast, so I wont over eat during lunch. Dont snack before dinner.
Stick to hard liquor! HAHAHAHAHHA I LIKE!!

Emotionally

Problem:
Low self esteem. I suck.
Low self conficence. I suck.
Low tolerance - misohoni. HAHAHAHA. I suck.
Did I mention low self esteem yet? I suck.

Solution:
Motivate myself, by taking my mind off sad stuff. Join a gym?
By joining a gym, start shedding pounds and toning up. Join a gym?
Use my fucking dumb bells everyday! 30 reps/arm - minimum.
Extend my vow of celebacy to partnerless sex. I deleted all my porn today! Honest.
Hopefully if I shape up, the ladies will start a-knockin on my door. Yay!
Join a gym it is!

Misc. Ramblings
I deleted my porn, so that should help my misohoniness.
Occupy my free time. I was thinking of joining a gym and going jogging. Seriously.
Im gonna take my sights off all things relationship. The harder I look, the more I get dissapointed. I'll take up the wait-n-see attitude that makes us Malaysians. ^_^
Pump the work baby! That helps keep me busy - majorly!
Set a target - I wanna see changes in 3 months!

*rant end*

On a differant note, I pretty much like the Zen Vision:M. Transfer speeds via USB 2.0 are super! I transfered 700 megs of videos (NOT PORN) in under 3 minutes. I didnt have much chance to use it tho... If I wake up early, I might take the train to work tomorrow... just so I can use the fucker a lil more... lol!!

Bah... Misotired. Migotthemunchiestoo. Misupposedtodiet. Mifuckedup. Misleep.

P.S. I almost fell off my chair when I read this. MOTHERFUCKIN YANNI YO. You know.. the mofo who does his classical music shit. ZOMG! PWNAGE!

New toy! YAY!!

2006-03-06T15:21:00.000+08:00

Sitting under my desk...

Oh? Whats this?

OOOOPS!! It's a...

Creative

Zen

Vision:M

Careline? MY BALLS!

2006-03-03T20:11:00.000+08:00

I was damn excited when the 3G data card arrived at the office. I checked with Simon to see if the simcard inside was 3G ready, and he said yes. I reached home and plugged it into my Pc and within minutes I was online. Thanks Simon!

Then things started going wrong. I kept getting this weird error message in my browser - "You are not authorized to use this service". I'm like... WTF? IM NOT FUCKING VIEWING PORN OR NUTTIN... yet...

Anyways, I did what anyone would do and call the Celcom customer service line. After navigating through a platroa of menus, I reached the operator.

*Call starts at 7.20 pm*

W: Hi. Im having problems with my 3G data card.
O: Oh. OK.

*tell her my details*

O: OK sir. You need to put the 3G simcard into a phone and call us with it.

Ok... fair enough. So I did it. She, by the way was the ONLY person who knew what a data card was.

W: Hi. Im having problems with my 3G data card.
O: Oh. OK.

*tell her my details again*

O: Sir, what model phone are you using?
W: Why is that relevant? Im having problems with the data card, not the phone.
O: Sir, is your phone a 3G phone?
W: What? No no, Im not using 3G on the phone. Im using it on the computer.
O: Oh.... ok, sorry Sir. Is your phone 3G compatible?
W: No. That's why Im using the COMPUTER DATA CARD.
O: Oh. Sir, the problem is very simple...
W: Aha...
O: You need to go to the nearest Celcom center, and UPGRADE your SIM CARD to a 3G..
W: WHAT?! The sim card is already 3G. I was using 3G already. Im just having some...
O: No, sir. You need to upgrade to a 3G sim card.
W: Look.. It is a 3G sim card.
O: Ohhhh!!! It's a problem for the technical department. Hold on please.

*transfers call to about 6 wrong departments*

O: Selamat petang tuan.
W: Erm... hello? Im having... Saya ada problem with saya 3G data card.
O: Ok tuan. Adakah telefon tuan telifon 3G?
W: Saya tidak guna telefon untuk 3G. Saya guna data card....
O: Ohhhh.. boleh saya tahu model telefon tuan?
W: Saya ada masalah dengan data card.. kenapa mahu tanya tentang telefon?!!!!!
O: Data card?!!
W: Data card! Untuk 3G. Dari Celcom.
O: Oh.... encik guna talian mana untuk 3G?
W: Celcom....
O: Oh... masalah 3G ye? Saya tidak tahu le tuan. Saya bukan technical departmen..
W: Tadi saya di-transfer ke sini. Saya minta untuk technical departmen!
O: Oh. Sini departmen pra-bayar. Saya tak tahu.
W: Transfer saya ke departmen technical sekarang. *dulan oredi*
O: OK!

*puts me on hold for almost 8 minutes*

O: Helo tuan. Tuan hanya perlu tambah nilai.
W: *swt*
O: Ye, hanya perlu tambah nilaii.
W: Thanks.

*Call ends at 8.00pm*

JEEZUS! DID THEY NEED A WHOLE FUCKING HOUR TO TELL ME THAT?!!!!!!!!! ARGH!!!!!!!!!!

Is it really...

2006-03-03T00:50:00.000+08:00

... all about love?

I just finished watching a movie called All About Love. It's a Honger flick about a man who we shall call Mr. A and his wife Mrs. A. He's a doctor and has no time for her - she misses him very much. One day Mrs. A goes to the hospital to pick him up from work, but he has to pull off another shift of OT. Dissapointed, she drives off, only to be hit by an oncoming car. Mr. A stays with her, till one night on her deathbead, she passes away while he's out of the room.

Distraught, he doesn't forgive himself for six years. He doesn't forget her. Until one day he meets Mrs. B. She's a chronic heart patient and she's dying. By chance, he stumbles upon her story and find's out that he bears an uncanny resemblance to her husband, while she causes him to remember his wife even more - even though they do not resemble each other. He find's out that her husband has left her and that she is suffering from a servere heart condition, and decides to impersonate Mr. B and accompany her till she passes - while hoping the real Mr. B will return. In the end, Mr. B returns moments before her death.

What he didn't know was that she found out about his impersonation - and because she understood his intentions, she left an entry in Mrs. A's diary - it was written as Mrs. A to Mr. A. It told him to move on with life - she thanked him for his love, and for his waiting for her for six years. She wanted him to let go of her so he could live a happy life.

I don't know, but somehow this movie seem's to remind me of my own situation. When I first knew her, she was with him. He didn't love her as much as she did, him. She was heart broken - I tried to fill in his shoes. I was there when she cried, and I didn't want her to cry again. I tried my best to be the guy she was looking for. I did things with the sole intention of her being happy - never expecting anything in return.

She told me stories of her past - I found out she was on medication. From her stories, I could tell that if she was happy, she could cut down on medication. I tried even harder to make her happy - but I couldn't. I tried and tried and tried, but unlike the movie, she saw through me. She knew I wasn't what she was looking for. And unlike the movie, when Mr. A did things he wish he did for his late wife, I wished that the things I did would lead both of us to a happy ending. As I tried harder, I eventually fell. Once I fell, I couldn't get up - maybe because I was in too deep?

But now that all has been said - all has been done, I wish to write you one last letter; as a person who has feelings for you. I understand fully what you told me. I understand your reasons. I might have sounded rude and childish, I admit that. I know I said that I did not expect anything in return - that is true, but I only blame myself for falling in too deep. You might get the idea that I don't want to see you, but I'm only a person. I needed sometime alone - to learn how to let go. Please understand that much...

I guess it wasn't as easy as I thought it would be. The way I did it might not be the best, but it happened.

Ending the letter, I just want you to know that, if I had a chance, I wouldn't want it any other way - because I know that I cannot give what you seek. Good bye.

Stupor

2006-02-27T23:01:00.000+08:00

stu·por Pronunciation Key (stpr, sty-)
n.

1. A state of reduced or suspended sensibility.
2. A state of mental numbness, as that resulting from shock; a daze.

I was thirsty, so I drank. But when I drank, my thirst did not quench, so I drank more. As I drank, I tried to remember what made me thirsty. I grew thirsty because I was thinking of her; I wanted to forget. But as I drank, I could not forget. I could only remember more. Happy moments grew happier, sad moments - sadder. So I drank, and drank and drank. I hoped that by the time I reached the bottom of the bottle, I would be too numb to think. I was wrong. Every sip I took only aplified the thoughts, the memories. It was always one sided from the begining, it was like hitting a brick wall. I thought that if I hit harder, it would finally break and let me in. I belived that if I hit harder, it would let me in. But with each hit, it only grew stronger; the next hit only felt more painful. But with my mind left in a stupor, even though I knew that I shouldnt be doing what I was, I still did. I hit and hit against the wall, I drank and drank till I could no longer drink. I reached the bottom of the bottle, hoping to find joy and freedom, but I only found sorrow and bondage. I sit here now, sounding like I know what's really going on - but I will return tonight and drink again - hoping to find the thing that I wont, hoping to forget what I cant. Maybe it's not my thirst that I should heed. Maybe I just need to bleed?

Tired.

2006-02-26T23:47:00.000+08:00

I had a long post planned for today. I wanted to let go of lots of feelings and thoughts that I have in my head/heart, but I guess I won't.

I feel tired. My body feels weak, my brain feels numb, my heart... lets not even go there.

I write for a living, and I realized that I have been blogging much much less since I started this job. Maybe I just want to relax at home after a long day of work? But so much has happened in the past 6 months... so much. I wish I could just let everything out, and heave a sigh of relief, but as the cliche says - truth hurts (and I might not be the one getting hurt, heh).

So yeah... it's been a long 6 months, but the past 2 months have been the longest. The past 2 weeks? It's been hell.

So here I am, sitting at home staring at my two computer screens - it seems like I cant escape these electical buggers. Maybe it's the prolonged exposure to the rays they emit. Maybe thats making me tired. Maybe I'm just realizing the truth. Truth hurts.

Maybe I'm just tired of the recuring experiences. It seems like my life has been stuck in a cruel cycle - the same things keep happening over and over again, and like a blooming idiot, I just go with the flow and keep the cycle going. Maybe I'm so tired of running in circles. Maybe I'm tired because I'm trying too hard to get out of the cycles?

Maybe I'm just tired of life as a whole. Who knows.

dont act crab

2006-02-10T21:32:00.000+08:00

Source: http://www.stripcreator.com/comics/wern/337137

breakfast!

2006-02-10T10:09:00.000+08:00

Source: http://www.stripcreator.com/comics/wern/337047

wait you....

2006-02-09T17:27:00.000+08:00

Source: http://www.stripcreator.com/comics/wern/336943

SuperMAN?

2006-02-08T02:02:00.000+08:00

I just realized that my score tied with cat WOMAN .....

FUCK!

I are...

2006-02-07T12:40:00.000+08:00

Your results:
You are Iron Man

Iron Man		85%
Catwoman		85%
Spider-Man		75%
Hulk		75%
Green Lantern		65%
The Flash		60%
Superman		50%
Robin		45%
Wonder Woman		43%
Supergirl		38%
Batman		30%

Inventor. Businessman. Genius.

Click here to take the Superhero Personality Quiz

Booze me up

2006-02-06T18:25:00.000+08:00

“A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo”.

“And when the herd is hunted, it is the lowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first”.

“In much the same way, the human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells and excessive intake of alcohol kills brain cells. But naturally, it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first, therefore, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine.”

Still ...

2006-02-04T16:55:00.000+08:00

Ah.. its great to be back in KL. Greeted in usual KL style, I got totally mashed last night on some lovely white wine and a couple of shot guns. Charles joined us and was totally and absolutely smashed. Hahahaha wimp.

Anyways, I cant help but feel my self-esteem going down. Ive been trying everything I know. I try to show it sincerely, cunningly, smartly - but nothing seems to work. I guess I gotta face the fact. Its not gonna be me, huh? In my head I know that if I stick around, Im only gonna be the second choice. But is it worth the wait? Sigh... I need more booze.

What makes you smile?

2006-01-22T07:50:00.000+08:00

As gay as it may sound, I re-realized the two of the best things in life (two of many Im guessing). Two of which, I havnt realized in a long time. Two of which, I once knew, but forgot (or made myself forget?) over time.

I was at my senior's (AVP of sales mmmkay, now thats pretty damn senior heh) wedding today, and as usual, there was the customary free flow of booze and foods. We were strategicly seated next to the door, so we could go in and out to smoke at will. Of course all that changed after the fourth course where we just smoked at our places and kept the doors open but thats a different story altogther rite? :)

Anyways, he has this video montage of him and his wife during the "jip seong moon" (sp?) ceremony. It was fucking hilarious Im tellin ya! The shit he had to go through - humiliating to an extent, gross to an extent. That shit kicks fear factor's ass yo! hahahahha... But yeah, there was this other video, showing them as kids, as teens and as adults - showing when they first met, showing when they were dating. Then I realized - falling in love - IN LOVE - is a beautiful thing.

I remember back in the day, I fell in love ONCE. Heh, sorry yaal... the other times werent love. They were probably lust or well .... fuck ... I just wanted to tap that ass. Lol. Crude, but true. I only fell in love once. And when I fell out of it, I guess I never ever did get back on the love train (ok ok that sounds more lusty than lovey dovey but fuck that rite?).

I always fucked things up before things could happen. I never let myself fall in love, coz I figured love is for wussy boys who want to get married before they tap that ass. Sure it might be noble and romantic n all, but I'll be honest - for the past 5 years, all I ever wanted was to tap some ass. I guess I didnt want a relationship where commitment and love was involved. I might be speaking for tons of guys out there - we just want to tap that ass, thats why were saying stuff like I love you. Heh, hell, we would be left wanking off if we didnt rite?

But yeah, I realized that falling in love was one of the best things to happen to you. I realized that I might have been pushing myself too hard in the past (up to today). I realized that part of me didnt want to be in love, but wanted to be with a girl. That might not make sense, but yeah. Im guessing that all this while, I just wanted to skip the falling in love stage and expect things to just happen for me. Well dude, its your fault now. You and your video. Makes me wanna fall in love... argh.... ARGHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

On a side note, my bro told me that I should go after seven chicks at once. Coz the ratio for men to women is like 7:1? So his rational is that well... seven to one rite? You do the math.

Fuck. I feel all warm and fuzzy inside now.... >_<

Anyways, before I doze off... yeah its like 8 am... the second thing I wanted to say was beautiful is ... hehehehehe... well it might sound perverted to a certain extent...

I LIKE WATCHING GIRLS SLEEP!!! OMFG!!!!

They look so fuckin innocent n cute n.... edible? Its like... wow.

Watch a girl sleep.. that just puts a smile on my face. Watch her head bob around. You know like youre half asleep and your head falls forward then you sub consciously pull it back. Or it falls sideways and you pull it back straight! hahahah.. thats so fucking cute. I almost laughed out loud just now when I saw it. And then when a girl gets out of that semi conscious state, she evolves into the damn fuckin blur state. Thats like... OMFG... the icing on the cake. Its like... woo hoo... so fuckin nice to see.

ARGH I M GOIN MAD!!!!!
AHAHAHHAA

IM A FUCKIN PERV YO :P

voyeur ?

Nah.

Michael Learns to Rock - Sleeping Child

The milky way upon the Heavens
Is twinkling just for you
And mr. Moon he came by
To say goodnight to you

I’ll sing for you i’ll
Sing for mother
We’re praying for the world
And for the people everywhere
Gonna show them all we care

Chorus:
Oh my sleeping child the world’s so wild
But you’ve build your own paradise
That’s one reason why I’ll cover you sleeping child

If all the people around the world
They had a mind like yours
We’d have no fighting and no wars
There would be lasting peace on earth

If all the kings and all the leaders
Could see you here this way
They would hold the earth in their arms
They would learn to watch you play

Chorus:
Oh my sleeping child the world’s so wild
But you’ve build your own paradise
That’s one reason why I’ll cover you sleeping child
I’m gonna cover my
Sleeping child
Keep you away from the world so wild

It's getting me hard.

2006-01-11T15:19:00.000+08:00

I was listening to this song just now in the car. I couldnt help but to snicker when I heard the phrase "the hardest thing"... but thats just me. Anyway... a closer look and wahaha...

98 Degrees - The hardest thing

We both know that I shouldn't be here
This is wrong
And baby it's killing me, it's killing you
Both of us trying to be strong

I've got somewhere else to be
Promises to keep
Someone else who loves me
And trusts me fast asleep

I've made up my mind
There is no turning back
She's been good to me
And she deserves better than that

It's the hardest thing I'll ever have to do
To look you in the eye
And tell you I don't love you
It's the hardest thing I'll ever have to lie
To show no emotion when you start to cry

I can't let you see what you mean to me
When my hands are tied and my heart's not free
We're not meant to be

It's the hardest thing I'll ever had to do
To turn around and walk away
Pretending I don't love you

I know that we'll meet again
Fate has a place and time
So you can get on with your life
I've got to be cruel to be kind

Like Dr. Zhivago
All my love I'll be sending
And you will never know cuz
There can be no happy ending

It's the hardest thing I'll ever have to do
To look you in the eye
And tell you I don't love you
It's the hardest thing I'll ever have to lie
To show no emotion when you start to cry

Maybe another time, another day
As much as I want to, I can't stay

(Ooh)

I've made up my mind
There is no turning back
She's been good to me
And she deserves better than that

It's the hardest thing I'll ever have to do
To look you in the eye
And tell you I don't love you
It's the hardest thing I'll ever have to lie
To show no emotion when you start to cry

I don't want to live a lie
What can I do

Winds of change.

2006-01-11T02:00:00.000+08:00

Aint it funny how a certain situation, while looked at from a diffrent perspective, can end up not looking so bad.

I apologise for the giberish (yes and the pussy posts as someone likes to call them) previously posted. It must have been the alcohol talking. Heh.

But seriously, thanks - you know who you are. Thanks for taking the time to talk things over with me. Thanks for detecting that I needed someone to talk to. Thanks.

Looks like, the Lonely Driver is going back to Mount Akina for the time being... coz Castello is back!

Maybe?

2006-01-10T21:57:00.000+08:00

Maybe it's because I've been alone for too long. Maybe it's because I've never really loved some one before. Maybe it's because I'm desperate. Maybe it's because I'm weak.

Why do I feel all confused inside? Why the fuck do I feel this way? It was all supposed to be a game. It was all supposed to be something else - something else than this. What did I do wrong? If it's not my fault, then why is this happening? Why does my mind want me to think this way? Or isit just my heart? Maybe it's because I am to desperate? That any impulse in my heart makes my head go *wham*?

I promissed myself not to let this happen again. But maybe it's because I'm just too weak to fight it off. Who does'nt want to be happy? Who wants to be a miser - sitting there alone in the dark?

But how can I feel this way when I have never really given anything to anyone before? I did'nt give anything to Karen - I sure as hell did'nt give anything to Jane. Is it because of my actions in the past that I'm here now; suffering the way that I am? Or is it just that I'm too desperate? Things are leaning that way right now....

Or is it because I'm just too stupid? Amber played the game - correction - is still playing the game. I'm still following it. I tried very hard to get out of the loop, but I'm still there. Will the same happen again this time? I hope not - and out of that hope, I'm trying hard to force myself out of the circle. Maybe it is true; I don't belong here - and I never will.

But no one will understand the way I feel. People say that I should be strong, because of the image I project - because of the cockyness towards life that I show. Maybe it's because I'm insecure? Too insecure with myself that I dont let myself enjoy what's in front of me. Or maybe I'm insecure with the world. So insecure that I place such a thick protective shell around me? And if that's so, why do I let - or rather, how the fuck do they manage to get through this shell? Is it because I let down the shell in order to do what I do - and in turn let them in by accident?

But won't saying that be just like pushing the blame to them? And if I'm pushing the blame to them, won't it wipe me clean of all the blame? Maybe I can't accept the blame - the blame for me not being attractive, for me not being social enough, for me not being rich enough? I don't know. In this state, any reasonable sounding reason is good enough for me.

I don't want to feel like this. It isn't fun. I want to stop feeling like this - but that can only happen when I get over it. Or when I die. It's funny how the heart can be attracted to the things that it should'nt. It makes me think - the guy that once said "love is a many wonderful thing" might have been wrong. If he was me, I would definately change the world "love" to "hope". Maybe I'm just a victim to hope?

Maybe it's because I keep ramming the wall with every glitter of hope I see? Sure, hope got me through lots and lots of hard times. When they were banging on the gates of my hell - it fucking felt like the devil himself was banging on my front door - but hope saved me from going mad. When almost everything was lost, and I had to survive my days - going through each like a pauper - hope got me through. Hope got me through many hard times, when alcohol was a short term solution, as was drugs, the only two things that I knew could save me were either death or hope. Thankfully hope brought me this far. It erased the suicidal thoughts, it erased the bitter memories. But will hope get me through this? Would the phrase "I hope so" seem too corny?

I tried - belive me I tried, to fight it. But somehow it is stronger than me. Or maybe I'm just too weak. I'm trying to walk away from it - hoping that turning my back on it is the easiest way out - for me. I know it won't affect you, because you aren't even feeling this. I know you have your own problems to face - that's why I dont want to pile them up on you. That's why I'm trying so hard to walk away. Maybe one might think it's happening to fast for me - but that only leads you back to the core question - maybe I'm too weak? Or too sensitive? Or just too fucking desperate? But when the feeling comes... there's just no fighting it, now is there?

I tried to hold myself back. As recent as just now. Hah. I'm really as weak as I thought.

Just like me
They long to be
Close to you
The Carpenters - Close to you

Pergi saja cintamu pergi
Bilang saja pada semua
Biar semua tahu adanya
Diriku kini sendiri
Kris Diyanti - Menghitung hari

Wise men say, only fools rush in.
But I can't help falling in love with you
Shall I stay? Would it be a sin?
I can't help falling in love with you
UB40 - Can't help falling in love

I guess life goes on... now does'nt it?

Its not supposed to!!

2006-01-10T19:59:00.000+08:00

Fuck. Its not suppsoed to end up like this. GAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!

Anyways, its not easy to say "no" to something you want to do or something you want to eat or something you want to watch or someone you want to see, but by gathering the courage and stand to just say "no" to it, and walk away, head held high with no regrets - now thats a real man.

CURRENT TIME : 8.00 PM - DAMMIT DO YOU THINK I CAN DO IT?!!!!!!! WE'LL JUST HAVE TO WAIT N SEE!!!!!!

btw... Its not about quiting smoking, if thats what you're thinking abt! hahahaha

ARRRRRGHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!

If only,,,

2006-01-10T11:46:00.000+08:00

My part in this story has come to an end. I cant afford to get sucked in any longer.

I was never anything more than an "extra" in this story, and thats how I wish it to end as well.

Over and out!

James Blunt - You're Beautiful Lyrics

My life is brilliant.
My love is pure.
I saw an angel.
Of that I'm sure.
She smiled at me on the subway.
She was with another man.
But I won't lose no sleep on that,
'Cause I've got a plan.

You're beautiful. You're beautiful.
You're beautiful, it's true.
I saw you face in a crowded place,
And I don't know what to do,
'Cause I'll never be with you.

Yeah, she caught my eye,
As we walked on by.
She could see from my face that I was,
F**king high,
And I don't think that I'll see her again,
But we shared a moment that will last till the end.

You're beautiful. You're beautiful.
You're beautiful, it's true.
I saw you face in a crowded place,
And I don't know what to do,
'Cause I'll never be with you.
You're beautiful. You're beautiful.
You're beautiful, it's true.
There must be an angel with a smile on her face,
When she thought up that I should be with you.
But it's time to face the truth,
I will never be with you.

Why I can't be a bad guy yet...

2006-01-09T11:07:00.000+08:00

If there's one thing that makes my heart bleed more than a knife through it, its the sight of a woman/lady/girl crying.

How can a man - a REAL man, ever live with himself for making a woman cry. How can a man live with himself for not being able to do anything when a woman is crying in front of him.

I wish I was born with the gift of the gab - not just born with the ability to talk shit, but also some sense at times. It always happens.... Whenever I encounter this kind of situation I just freeze up and hope to wait it out. Sure, you can do what I did - just wait it out and hope for the best. But will that always be the best solution? Surely, consoling words weaved with some encouraging ones would be better, no?

But with the situation passed, I feel relieved, that I didnt say anything to make things worse - or did I? All I know is that I feel shit now. I know my friend would have done somehting else, something more gentlemanly, unlike me. But I really hope that my being there did help in some way. Oh well....

Stone Temple Pilots - Half the man I used to be

Forward yesterday
Makes me wanna stay
What they said was real
Makes me wanna steal
Livin' under house
Guess I'm livin', I'm a mouse
All's I gots is time
Got no meaning, just a rhyme

Take time with a wounded hand
'Cause it likes to heal
Take time with a wounded hand
'Cause I like to steal
Take time with a wounded hand
'Cause it likes to heal, I like to steal

I'm half the man I used to me
This I feel as the dawn
It fades to gray
Well, I'm half the man I used to be
This I feel as the dawn
It fades to gray
Well, I'm half the man I used to me
This I feel as the dawn
It fades to gray
Well, I'm half the man I used to be, half the man I used to be

Feelin' uninspired
Think I'll start a fire
Everybody run
Bobby's got a gun
Think you're kinda neat
Then she tells me I'm a creep
Friends don't mean a thing
Guess I'll leave it up to me

Take time with a wounded hand
'Cause it likes to heal
Take time with a wounded hand
Guess I like to steal
Take time with a wounded hand
'Cause it likes to heal, I like to steal

I'm half the man I used to me
This I feel as the dawn
It fades to gray
I'm half the man I used to be
This I feel as the dawn
It fades to gray
I'm half the man I used to be
This I feel as the dawn
It fades to gray
I'm half the man I used to be, half the man I used to be

Take time with a wounded hand
'Cause it likes to heal
Take time with a wounded hand
Guess I like to steal
Take time with a wounded hand
'Cause it likes to heal, I like to steal

I'm half the man I used to me
This I feel as the dawn
It fades to gray
I'm half the man I used to be
This I feel as the dawn
It fades to gray
I'm half the man I used to be
This I feel as the dawn
It fades to gray
I'm half the man I used to be, half the man I used to be,
Half the man I used to be

The day I fucked up the world

2006-01-09T00:44:00.000+08:00

If there's something I learnt over the years, its to take every piece of advice given to me with a pinch of salt.

Lets face it. Advice is never neutral - its always biased; there's always a hidden agenda behind every piece of advice ever given.

Example No. 1

Mom says: Study hard boy!

Hidden agenda: Mother wants you to succeed in life and studies. Does the world want you to be a better person? Nope. It doesnt care. Does the world cry if you fail your studies? Nope. It doesnt care. Does the world feel bad for not bringing you up the correct way? Nope. The world doesnt care.

Hidden agenda - 1
Neutral advice - 0

Example No. 2

Police man says: Dont drink and drive.

Hidden agenda: We're police men. You sure as hell wont listen to us! Rules are meant to be broken. So please, please drink and drive. When we stop you at a roadblock, we get to distribute our daily quota of summons. Please do it. But if you die, oh well.. We already told you not to!

Hidden agenda - 2
Neutral advice - 0

Example No. 3

Father says: Son, you must finnish your food.

Hidden agenda: Dont waste my fucking food, boy. So what, if that meal you didnt touch could feed a village in Kazakstan for a week? Regardless if you eat it or not, they wont even catch a glimpse of it.

Hidden agenda - 3
Neutral advice - 0

Sure, friends might turn to you for advice. As a friend, you do want to give the best advice you can. But sometimes, the best thing for the world, isnt always the best thing for your friend. Just before you open your mouth to voice out that precious piece of advice, you stop to ponder - what if what I say will fuck things up?

But I'm a creep,
I'm a weirdo
What the hell am I doin here?
I don't belong here
Radiohead - Creep

What if that one piece of advice you gave out, would change the course of things to come. What if that one piece of advice you gave would fuck up a potentially good thing from happening? What if that one piece of advice given was laced to the brim - to the fucking brim - with your own hidden agenda.

Could you live with yourself? Would you be ridden with guilt? Would you blame yourself for things to come - things that happened as a direct result of the advice given?

Would it be your fault?

If it's wrong to tell the truth
Then what am I supposed to do
When all I want to do is speak my mind
Blue - Guilty

Was all that hidden agenda, all your vasted intrest - clouding up your judgment? Did you think with both your heart and head before you opened that fucking mouth?

I wish I could say I did. I wish I could say that the advice I gave was neutral. I wish I could say that result of following my advice was the for best. I wish I could say it was for the best of everyone, not just me, or a select few people.

I never want to play the games that people play
I never want to hear the things they gotta say
I've found everything I need
I never wanted anymore than I can see
I only want you to believe
Blue - Guilty

If there's something I learnt over the years, its that once something has been said, it cannot be undone.

Nine Days - Story of a girl

This is the story of a girl,
Who cried a river and drowned the whole world!
And while she looked so sad in photographs,
I absolutely love her,
When she smiles...

How many days in a year?
She woke up with hope but she only found tears.
And I can be so insincere,
Making her promises never for real!
As long as she stands there waiting,
Wearing the holes in the soles of her shoes!
How many days disappear?
When you look in the mirror so how do you choose?
Your clothes never wear as well the next day,
And your hair never falls in quite the same way-
But you never seem to run out of things to say...

THIS IS THE STORY OF A GIRL,
WHO CRIED A RIVER AND DROWNED THE WHOLE WORLD!
AND WHILE SHE LOOKED SO SAD IN PHOTOGRAPHS,
I ABSOLUTELY LOVE HER,
WHEN SHE SMILES...

How many lovers would stay?
Just to put of with this shit day after day!
How did we wind up this way?
Watching our mouths for the words that we say.
As long as we stand here waiting,
Wearing the clothes of the souls that we choose!
How do we get there today?
When we're walking to far for the price of our shoes!
Your clothes never wear as well the next day,
And your hair never falls in quite the same way-
But you never seem to run out of things to say!...

THIS IS THE STORY OF A GIRL,
WHO CRIED A RIVER AND DROWNED THE WHOLE WORLD!
AND WHILE SHE LOOKED SO SAD IN PHOTOGRAPHS,
I ABSOLUTELY LOVE HER,
WHEN SHE SMILES...

Your clothes never wear as well the next day,
And your hair never falls in quite the same way-
But you never seem to run out of things to say...
This is the story of a girl,
Who cried a river and drowned the whole world!
And while she looks so sad in photographs,
I absolutely love her-

This is the story of a girl;
Her pretty face she hid from the world!
And while she looks so sad and lonely there,
I absolutely love her,
When she smiles...

This is the story of a - girl!
Who cried a river and drowned the whole world!
And while she looks so sad in photographs,
I absolutely love her,
When she smiles...
When she smiles.

I dont belong here

2006-01-06T11:28:00.000+08:00

Thinking back on the events of the past few days I think I made quite an idiot of myself...

Radiohead - Creep

When you were here before,
couldn't look you in the eye
You're just like an angel,
your skin makes me cry

You float like a feather
In a beautiful world
I wish I was special
You're so fuckin' special

But I'm a creep,
I'm a weirdo
What the hell am I doin here?
I don't belong here

I don't care if it hurts,
I wanna have control
I want a perfect body
I want a perfect soul

I want you to notice
when I'm not around
You're so fuckin' special
I wish I was special

But I'm a creep
I'm a weirdo
What the hell am I doin here?
I don't belong here, ohhhh, ohhhh

She's running out again...
She's running out
she runs, runs, runs, runs...
runs...

Whatever makes you happy
Whatever you want
You're so fuckin' special
I wish I was special

But I'm a creep,
I'm a weirdo
What the hell am I doin here?
I don't belong here

I don't belong here...

2005 in a glimpse and 2006 preview

2006-01-05T01:54:00.000+08:00

Two words describe 2005 - ANTI CLIMAX

I planned to end 2005 with a bang; literally with a bang, but I guess when its not your year then its not your year right? On the bright side, I almost had a smashing Christmas - for those who didnt know, I once again fell asleep at the wheel and almost smashed into a stationary lorry. WOOT!

Misses of 2005.

1. Missed out being an AMO in HDPM. I was |---| this close to becoming the AMO of the new team at HHI Auto Funding, but as fate would have it, Im a lazy bastard & Im not a member of the prefered race. The first reason, I could deal with - sure, I had to do the weekly & monthly score cards, enter the time sheets into the TCS system, complete my daily ration of deals AND do whatever other task my AMO gave to me (read: make and develop new excel sheets, time sheets, reporting sheets), run the occasional confracalls, run deal balancing, do tech support for the rest of my team (and sometimes other teams), organize centre wide activities, join charity events and play ping pong - but I guess I was still a lazy bastard who couldnt get his act together, while other members of the team did solely what they were paid to do - do deals. Sigh. Life's not fair is it? NOPE THATS WHY I WASNT BORN AN XXXXXXXXXXXXX COZ IF I WAS I WOULD NOW BE AN AMO WITH A 4K SALARY. Oh well... get over it.

2. Girls. 2005 has been the ultimate year of misses - Azlin played me like a fucking violin. But I was dumb, young and naive then. That nice girl from Apps Taking never gave me the time of day, and the girl from Ops Support turned out to be a dyke. Cyber girl was in and out of the picture, out more than in. Of course, I fucked up real bad over the Ming saga. Lets not even go there... Then there was Mandy and Amber. Fuck. Mandy was a devout member of the LB cult - till today I still suspect her true intentions, while Amber... oh well ...

"She take my money well I'm in need
Yeah she's a triflin friend indeed
Oh she's a gold digger way over town
That digs on me"

I guess thats brings new meaning to "money cant buy love" HAH!

3. I almost died multiple times. I almost died in Bangsar, almost crashed my car multiple times on Jalan Kuching, almost got killed by a gun wielding Mercedes Benz driving maniac... Im sure there's something Im missing out... I just cant put my finger on it. Oh, I did get a MP5 pointed at me on my way to Zouk out (at the immigrations) which leads me to point #4.

4. Raves suck - when youre not smacked. PD was cool but I wasnt smacked so I guess I didnt enjoy it as much as I should have. I thought it was crap till I traveled all the way to fucking Singapore to check out Zoukout. Now thats what I call crap. It was so crap it fucking sucked. The only way I could enjoy Zouk Out was if I had the patience of a tibetan monk (to get thru the fucking lines to get in), smacked like a motherfucker, gay, smacked like a motherfucker.

5. I also came to the conclusion that Singaporian booze makes me impotent. But thats a private joke. Oh, yeah it causes memory loss and acts as a sorta "sleeping pill" as well!

6. Perodua is going to fucking kill me. Im watching my darling Wira die day by day and the motherfuckers arent fucking ready to give me my new MyVi. Bastards. It seems theyre only distributing May/June orders now... AND THEY PROMISED ME JANUARY! FUCKERS!

New Years Resolutions

I decided that making out-of-this-world resolutions such as "I will quit smoking/drinking" should be forsaken. Fuck who actually follows this crap rite? So I made my years resolutions based on things I do, so I will actually follow them:

1. Drink more beer - self explanitory
2. Learn how to spell better - self explanitory
3. Blog more frequently - already fucking up on that one
4. Be a bad guy - fucking up too!!

New look/style for 2006

1. New thick rimmed specs - ok ok it was done in Dec
2. Mullet-ish hair cut - also in Dec
3. Hopefully a slimmer me so I can fit into those L sized tshirts
4. Same as above but for pants. Target - waist 35/36.
5. More round neck tshirts and polo tshirts. OUT WITH THE CHEQUERED SHIRTS!
6. Shoes! GIVE ME MORE!!
7. Stay clear of overly geeky gadgets - phones/PDA = ok, ipod = ok, flash drive around neck = no no!

Thats all I can think of at the moment. Its already 2.20am, but Im sure I have more to add. Sigh...

On a side note I just want to express how dissapointed I am today - I was SUPPOSED to go on a "date" - I even did my research like... where to eat n stuff, but a sudden change of plan (sudden to me, she probably meant it that way cos she must have thought I was joking.. sigh) had me attending a "group dinner" instead. Oh well....

The Killers - All These Things That I've Done

When there's nowhere else to run
Is there room for one more son
One more son
If you can hold on
If you can hold on, hold on

I wanna stand up, I wanna let go
You know, you know - no you don't, you don't
I wanna shine on, in the hearts of men
I want a meet you from the back of my broken hand

Another head aches, another heart breaks
I'm so much older than I can take
And my affection, well it comes and goes
I need direction to perfection, no no no no

Help me out - Yeah
You know you got to help me out - Yeah
Oh, don't you put me on the back burner
You know you got to help me out - Yeah

And when there's nowhere else to run
Is there room for one more son
These changes ain't changing me
The cold-hearted boy I used to be

Yeah
You know you got to help me out - Yeah
Oh don't you put me on the back burner
You know you got to help me out - Yeah
You're gonna bring yourself down - Yeah
You're gonna bring yourself down - Yeah
You're gonna bring yourself down

I got soul, but I'm not a soldier
I got soul, but I'm not a soldier
I got soul, but I'm not a soldier
I got soul, but I'm not a soldier
I got soul, but I'm not a soldier
I got soul, but I'm not a soldier
I got soul, but I'm not a soldier
I got soul, but I'm not a soldier
I got soul, but I'm not a soldier
I got soul, but I'm not a soldier
(time, truth, and hearts)
Yeah
You know you got to help me out - Yeah
Oh don't you put me on the back burner
You know you got to help me out - Yeah
You're gonna bring yourself down - Yeah
You're gonna bring yourself down - Yeah
Oh don't you put me on the back burner
You're gonna bring yourself down - Yeah
You're gonna bring yourself down

Over and in, last call for sin
While everyone's lost, the battle is won
With all these things that I've done
All these things that I've done
(Time, Truth, and Hearts)
If you can hold on
If you can hold on

Over rated!

2005-12-30T14:03:00.000+08:00

Friendship is over rated.

How did I end up with this conclusion?

Thanks to a simple equation:

Guys argue/disagree about everything, but only two things in the world have enough power to break great things.

1)Women
2)Money

Thus, its general knowledge that going after/dating/humping a girl who is/might/was going out with your friend is a big no no.

Money has the power to tear families apart, so breaking up friendships would be akin to cutting butter with a hot knife.

So, now we know what the two biggest friendship breakers are, how do we equate which has the stronger influence?

Since we all know that money breaks up friendships, that means that:

Money > Friendship

And we also know that women break up friendships, so:

Women > Friendship

Now the conclusion would be:

Money + Women > Friendship

But:

A man would leave millions just to be with a woman if he thinks he is in love. Or... he might forgo his family fortune because his parents disaprove of his woman.

Thus:

Women > Money > Friendship

Now, if only I can find a way to be more attractive to a person than women, I'm sure I would have something to do for new year's eve! :)

Spring Cleaning

2005-12-22T11:32:00.000+08:00

Oooh.. I just love this time of the month. The two or three days immediately after deadlines are like heaven. ~~Nothing~~ Less work to do at office... Well... less productive work ler...
Yesterday I formatted my office PC... hahaha it was like.. damn best lor because whole day cannot do work. Today different story. Niamacibai come into office both boss not in. Not to say I want to curi tulang or what la... but then really nothing to do lor. KNNCCB. Anyways, I was supposed to be in office early morning to pass a Canon SLR to my colleague, but she not in office! CIBAI! Should have gone for launch...

Sigh. Now 11.35.. contemplating going for a hair cut but then I know if I drive down, later come back sure no fucking parking. Mahai. I tell you ah... the parking in Mid Valley is cocks man. Its so cocks that its FUCKING COCKS. For example, the other day I came back at 1.20pm. Made a round in the fucking jam - Zone G closed, Zone F closed, round more, Zone A - C closed. MAHAI PARK WHERE? JOCKEY AH?!! TIU NEI!!! RM 7 for 4 hours. I bodoh meh... not to say can claim... even if can... cibai one month only allowed RM30 for parking claims. 1 day if park for 7 hours = RM7 + (RM2 x 4) = RM15. WALANEH HALF MONTH PARKING CLAIM GONE! So I was thinking of taking a cab down to Orange Saloon lor. But then ah, think again - taxi sure about RM5 onwards. Never mind lor. Hair cut RM18 + RM5 (taxi) = RM23. Still reasonable. But the thing that isnt reasonable is trying to get back. Knowing the fucking Msian taxi drivers attitude sure when say "Mid Valley" he will start shaking his hand - TAK MAU TAK MAU JAM LA. JAM MAK KAU AH JAM. OMFGWTFBBQ! Suan la. I think just drive. But then... wait for about 5.30 like that lor. Since no not much work today, I can leave early maybe? If boss didnt come in can kua... ehehehhehe...

BTW, if you notice me doing ~~many~~ lots of ~~strikeouts~~, its because almost all the blogs I read are doing it. Im like WTF why the fuck you striking out your words? I mean... looks funny ler... cool? Maybe oni lor. I mean... when you talk and you say "You have a nice rack... oops I mean hair" its different lor. Coz you were really looking at her rack right? Thats perfectly fine but just dont get busted like I did!! HAHAHAHHAAH... Anyways... maybe they trying to spice up their blogs a bit? Trying to make reading more enjoyable? Bollocks lah. Everyone has their own style. Let them do it. I will if I feel ~~appropriate~~ (dont know how to spell) I should. Or... maybe, when they were in secondary school, they no money to buy/steal liquid paper so they use ruler and cross out the wrong words! HAHAHA ya hor... why didnt I think of that before!! hahahahaHAHAHA!!

Man.. I havnt been blogging for so long. It feels like I have so much to say but dont know how to say it out in words. Might sound dumb ler coming from a writer (by profession) but tell you the truth - I have the same problem in work. I talked to my boss about it the other day and we came to two conclusions:

1) Im suffering from a lack in confidence. Maybe because of that, then I think twice or thrice or a gilion times before I actually type the thing out. I agree. I mean, its not the first time I have been told that I lack confidence. Ms. Hui Ni once told Mr. Ham that I lack confidence. I mean WTF is that about? Tell someone else but dont tell me? Fine. But Ms. Hui Ni is my "dai gar cher" so... if that floats her boat right? Hahahhaha ~~wanker~~ wankette.

2) Im too handsome and talented and Im in the wrong line. I should be model or super star celebrity chef or something like that! HAHAHHAHA nolah this one I just created myself.

Its not everyday you get to work in a job with a nice boss. My old boss at HSBC was a bitch. She was such a fake bitchy fucked up whore-like biatch. Eew... Fucking bitch. Yucks. Anyway she sucked. Not me but I mean in general. My current boss on the other hand - of which some of my friends met recently - is like damn different. He treats me like his lil bro (not that kind of lil bro ok... the human kind). If he unhappy with anything or notice anythign wrong or wanna tell me something, he will say "Eh fucker... come lets go smoke". Its nice ler. Not to say I cannot tahan getting scolding but I think his approach is the way all bosses should approach their staff. Truth is, the way he does stuff reminds me so much of myself. Therefore I can relate to what he's trying to say - and surprisingly he can relate to what I say and feel. Its nice ler. Its like we have this understanding - but not in a gay way. Sigh...

But back to ME... since thats what this blog is supposed to be about... I dont think I will update on the Part 2 of the Singapore trip. It was too long ago... forgot about it liau hahahahha!! But lets look forward - Christmas is coming up. Coincidentally, its on a Sunday (me thinks) so my mummy forced me to go church with her. Sigh. Oh well... to make her happy lor right?! :) Since Im such a hau soon son! HAHAHA YA RIGHT!! HAHAHAHA..

Friday night, Mr. Aaron is coming down. Dont think I will be partying that night - kinda had too much partying last week. Dont know what I will bring him to do. It seems like my life in KL is fucking boring. Its either:

a) Yum Cha at Wong Kok
b) DOTA
c) Clubbing
d) Sleep at home
e) Snooker
F) Try to kau lui and end up making an ass of myself

DAMN SAD RIGHT?!! IF ONLY EVERY WEEKEND IS LIKE MY INFAMOUS WEEK IN SINGAPORE WITH MR. CHEN! HAHAHAH BESTNYAAAA!!!!111111!!!11

Fuck lah. Play by ear la right? Oh ya before I forget!! I wrote two articles for EVO this month!! HAHAHAH the best part - I GOT TO DRIVE GTR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA... pics pics pics ....

Roadster Brabus!!

"Artistic shot" :P

GTR-O!!!!!

180kmh oni :(

Goat!

We is a fucking original band called 'telefon' WTF!

OK Launch

2005-12-19T15:57:00.000+08:00

BUSTED MOFO!

Oops..

2005-12-14T19:51:00.000+08:00

Not many gadgets recently, but these do pretty fine!

^_^

Oops.. Its original, but I downloaded about a month ago. Damn, I hate piracy. It so spoils gifts! :(

Technically, I dont need them coz I can get in as "media" but I dont have many friends to give em too....

WARNING!

2005-12-12T12:05:00.000+08:00

Hahahahah one of my Singaporean friends told me over MSN:

"CAREFUL WHAT YOU BLOG WEIII!!"

Whoa.. If the immigration read my blog... they might block me kua? Damn... use machine gun and shoot me?? OR WORSE TAX ME FOR THE OTHER 3 PACKS OF CIGGIES THEY MISSED?!!!
AHAHAHHAHA

SEDATION ACT?!!!

Sigh... send some lady punisher over ler...

^_^

Zouk out... really damn out

2005-12-12T00:34:00.000+08:00

Back from Singapore... HELLO MALAYSIA! :)

FUCK man... the weekend was really a mixed bag. Fuckin tired on Friday... The bus ride down south was cocks. Mahai... One would think that taking the 7 pm bus would be a smart choice. I mean... rush hour 5-7pm by the time the bus reach highway at 7.20pm the road should be clear right? WRONG NIGGAAAZ... mahai.. stuck at the fucking iron river highway till 8.30pm... KNNMCB... wasted 1.30 hours of prescious highway time on the fucking jammed up area.... could have reached seremban by then!!!!!! tulan!

Oh well... reached Singapore border at about 11.50pm and half sleepily put my bag through immigrations ... but then kuang kuang kuang. FUCKING KENA STOP BY IMMIGRATION OFFICER... NIAMA HE USE MP5 POINT ME SOME MORE!!! For those of you who dont know, MP5 is the fucking machine gun from counter strike. The bastard immigration guy pointed it at me! I was like OMFGWTFBBQ and opened my bag. Then I realise... I fuckin brought along a bottle of whiskey and 6 packs of cigarettes! Hahahahha cibai kena liau... Sure gonna kena SGD$200 fine or somethin so I started thinking up some story tale to tell the guy so I could get away with it...

CIBAI.. I told him the cigarettes are duty free.. I bought them at CHANGI AIRPORT DUMB FUCK... then he lansi-ly told me while pointing his fucking sub-machine gun at me "You are coming into Singapore, you must remember, its a different set of rules here". TIU LEI. NEXT TIME YOU COME KL I POINT MY FUCKING CANON IN YOUR FACE AND TELL YOU THE SAME THING PUNK! Then I said in an equally lansi tone "Oklor... confiscate them then if you want... tiu". Hahahahhaha damn funny cos he didnt understand what "tiu" was. Dumb fuck. After 10 minutes of paperwork, he led me to the customs counter. Cibai damn shy ... even my bus driver came down and see what happened. Mahai the customs officer some mroe give me some old fuck grandpa who couldnt write without his hand shaking like got the alz-hai-mer disies. PKM... count count count then he taxed me me SGD$45 - SGD$22 for the bottle of Johnnie Walker, SGD$23 for the cigarettes. DUMB FUCK ONLY TAXED ME FOR 3 PACKS COZ I HID THE REST IN MY UNDERWARE HAHAHAHAHAHHA. Then I went "Oh SGD$23 for the cigarettes? How much one pack in Singapore shops?", then he looked up and replied "about SGD$11 each". HAhahahah I fucking started laughing there... he must have thought I was dumb? HAHAHAH NO BIATCH YOU THE DUMB FUCK.. AT LEAST TAX ME MORE LA SOHAI I UNTUNG BERSIH 1 PACK YOU NOOB!

Oh well... his loss. CIBAI MY LOSS ALSO LEH. Havnt reach Singapore Singapore already tax kau me SGD$50... NOT CHEAP LEH RM100 GONE LIAU. Nevermind lor.. consider it I went out with Ms. Amber and wasted RM100. HAHAHAHAH true also.. no diff hor? Go out with her then I pay all, fetch her here there. Cibai girl dont even give me head. So I think pay immigrations the RM100 I also bo-rasa. Its ok. Take it fool. YEAH YOU THE FOOL DUMB FUCKIN GRANDPAPA. Sigh....

Anyways... Ms. Amber decided to give me a call Friday afternoon. I was like WTF? Yeah.. its happening again. The fucking cruel cycle just wont end. As a matter of fact, I got a call from Ms. Mandy on the previous few days too. I mean... why do I always get stuck in this kind of routine? Try to go after a girl - fail - try to forget her by knowing more girls - fail the other one - try to forget them both - first one calls - talk with first one a lil more while trying to forget second one - second one calls while first one dissapears leaving you confused - second one dissapears - try to forget them both cos you predict they dissapear cos you failed - cycle starts over again. Its like... fuck... bad karma man. I died and reincarnated into a potato, some one fried me and eat me and shit me out and I become a potato again.

Ugh... anyways... Once I reached Singapore, I took a cab down to the hotel. It was damn near the bus stop and the way the taxi man took passed some posh houses. I thought to myself - wah damn best lor this time. CIBAI when I reached there my phone no credit and the receptionist girl fucking lansi so I walked to the nearest 7-11 to buy reload card. When I walk past I saw many many many many thai and indon and china mei mei walking around with sexy baju. I thought ... eh... here got clubbing place meh? Mana tau.. I look up and see the sign board... IT WROTE FUCKING - ORCHARD TOWERS... HAHAHAHAHA CIBAI LOR... EQUIVALENT OF SUN COMPLEX. Fuck... Im staying in a 4 1/2 star hotel strategicly located in a red light district. Oh well... at least if I dont get lucky, I can still get pseudo-lucky right? Hahahahahhahaha..... sigh...

Met up with the gang and headed down to Macky-D's for some supper. Saw some cibai biker boys trying to do BMX tricks in front of Shaw House. Weird... I look at them but somethin just wasnt right. OH YEAH they arent on fuckin BMX's... Cibai the bikes all had suspension system and fucking DISK BREAKS! CIBAI DISK BREAKS YO.... Lucky not CF frame.. or I might just go amok. But this one particular dude... looked like a headless chicken. Fuckin kept on ramming this steps. Cycle fast - head down for aerodynamics la konon - wheely straight into a flight of steps - regain his consciousness - gostan to where he was before - repeat steps. Fuckin sorhai... must be some good shit he popped on earlier. SMACKED sial the guy. LOL.

Whacked a Mc Spicy which tasted totally cocks and headed back to hotel. SLEEP lah nothing else to do... Mr. Paul and Mr. KY also not ngam to go chiong :( Too bad Mr. Pharmacy Lim or Mr. Chen or Mr. Chui not there... hahaha sure go chiong at Orchard Towers liau!!

Woke up the next day for buffett breakfast. It was cocks. Had some Trix, some bacon, some friend rice, some omelette and fruit and a sausages. Finished up and went SHOPPING!!!!!! But cibai... the gang got expensive taste sial... Niama keep going CK lor, DKNY lor, AX lor, Dior lor, Guess lor.. mahai... I wasnt stress or angry ler... just quite bored cos all those brands not my taste mah... So just walk walk... I think Mr. KY thought I was emo hahaha but I was ok ler. Just a lil bored. Fucker Mr. Cheah went crazy with Ralph Lauren... Ms. Shirley went mad with bags (bags ok la... me also like bags ^_^) and shoes... MADNESS SIAL!!!

Anyways ... we finally decided it was MY TURN TO SHOP!! So they all followed me to the destination of my own choice - FAR EAST PLAZA!!! HAHAHAHAHHAHAHA where else you expect hor? Went a round of downstairs... walaneh ... got one bag damn nice damn big damn bling damn yeng... but it was some cocks in house brand called "ZING" ... Cibai damn beng lor the brand name. Nice is nice la.. but SGD$45 leh..EXPENSIVE OH. So walk more lor... then Ms. Shirley and Mr. KY found this happening shop called New World Order. KNNCCB THE BAJU THERE DAMN NICE. All focused around the theme of "NEWBIE" I have no idea why but yeah... hell yeah damn best. Bought 2 round neck tees... SGD$22 each. Oklah the quality all feels nice, prints all quite funky, XL size fits me well and sales girl so cute... hahahhaahahha I so wanna tap that ass.

Continued walking. FUCKER DAMN LAYAN SIAL. Its like a condensed sungai wang. Almost all the shops are nice to see. Didnt buy anything else from there, but the stuff there all damn nice. Its the kind of plaza I want to open if I was Bill Gate. Mahai... I so love Far East. ^_^

Left for Zouk Out at 8.30pm... or so we thought. Cipet... waited for Ms. Lili's friend till abt 9.30pm. TULAN! Not because he late ler... but because we damn hungry !! hahahahha but that time I and Mr. Cheah quite "wing" already cos we whacking Big Gulp ^_^.

Anywayss.... not too long later, Mr. Singapore came in a van. Hahahaha first thing he said to us "welcome to the bang bug" Steady! Hahahaha... He brought us to east cost to makan.. Bedok or something like that lah the place called. Cibai everything looks like Jurong to me... You know.. All HDB flats left and right. Maybe its just me. Maybe Singaporeans will say the same when they go USJ HAHAHAH Fucking trauma man I tell you if they get lost in USJ. Worse than HDB area man. EVEN IM SCARED OF USJ LOL.

One thing is for sure. Singaporean food is damn suck cocks. We tried food from all the stores which had the sign "Official best food of bla bla bla by some cocks tv shop and newspaper". Niama... All either tasted bland or tasted cocks. Lala was supposed to be "spiciest lala in bedok". Cibai tasted like sai. No, it tasted DAMN COCKS! Then the bak kon lo mean or something like that. Tasted cocks. No! IT WAS TASTED LIKE SAI. Oklor... nvm... try the super special bak muey. This one... damn power. DAMN FUCKING POWER COS IT TASTED LIKE.... NOTHIN?!!! TASTED LIKE FUCKING RICE TAKE AND BOIL TILL SOFT AND EAT. KNNCCB. Sucks... food so so so sucks. But cheap lor. Mee one bowl SGD$2. Porridge SGD$3. Western chop SGD$4. Cost of living quite low lor hor? COST OF LIVING LOW, FOOD TASTE LIKE SHIT LOR!! HAHAHAHAHHAHAHa

So after dinner, we set out for Zouk Out. Mahai I was expecting somethn better than the PD rave. I mean.. the PD Rave was in PD man.. THATS FUCKING COCKS RIGHT? Nah.. wrong.

Point No.1 - PD Rave had to park quite far away. If walk to the rave venue.. about 15 mins walk; Zouk Out have much more parking bays BUT if you want to walk to the venue from the bay its about 45 min to 1 hr walk. SORHAI RITE?

Point No.2 - Since its so far to walk, they provide shuttle buses. PD Rave shuttles came in the form of private cars - each car charge RM10 per ride. Fair enough. 3 minutes reach liau. ZO (Zouk Out) provided free shuttles in the form of "express" bus. However since its so fucking far to walk, everyone wants to get in the bus. Bus almost fell over sial. At any given time, at least 200 people trying to get into a 30 seater bus. Fuckin ang mohs pushing like fuck didnt help things. And they say they are from civilized first world bla bla bla... PUI FUCKING ANG MOH.

Point No.3 - PD is Malaysia. Malaysia quite less Ang Moh. The Ang Moh in Malaysia scared coz if they fuck up... for example go and tiu a keling or machan - gone lah... whole kampung come and pwn them. In Singapore... FUCKING LOT OF ANG MOH. Ang Moh think they damn king - locals give them so much face, all the local girls dying for Ang Moh partner too. Damn sickening. Ang Moh in general really damn sickening. Only one or two nice ones that night. Really drop my respect for Ang Moh now. Even though a first I dont like them already, now ... PEI SZE them liau.

Point No.4 - Bad organization. PD rave had about 10k people. Zouk out ... about 15k? I dont know. Dont quote me. These arent official figures - just some random numbers I generate from my brain. Sure, you guys got Nick Warren and Van Buren. Ours got Jungle Jerry I think LOL. But see the crowd. Fucking Ang Mohs keep pushing n shit and even climbing over the jungle to get through. Took us 2 hours to get into the rave propper. And by then... no mood lor. Crowd = bad (appart from some really nice locals. Say sorry when they ter-push, say excuse me when wanna go through. Not like fucking Ang Moh push and stare cock at you as if you are supposed to give way to them. FUCK YOU.) Organizers = bad (They had this superiority complex - ie. let lots of ang moh in through "exit" and push all yellow/black/brown people back to the que while shouting "Dont push or we wont let you through. Line up please. OI FUCKERS LINE UP NOW OR YOU CANT GO IN" Bastard organizers oni know how to suck ang moh kuku.) Venue = Horrible (PD Rave venue more suitable. Sand not even but at least got cement walkway - makes the rave look more classy. Cibai for the distance it took to get to the place, one would have expected it to be nicer lor. Oh well.) Media = unrecognized (good in some ways - this kelly got kicked out - he thought his Mediacorp press pass could get him and his kelly friends in the back door. OOPS GOT KICKED OUT AND ASKED TO LINE UP. But when I went to the "media" line - I showed my Juice Crew tag - not recognized, showed my name card with Juice logo - not recognized. Nevermind lor. Die meh? I got ticket anyway CIBAI. Then went inside I realize - hahahha FHM sponser ma.. .sure la wont recognize compettitor lol my bad).

Point No.7 - IT RAINED HAHA.

Point No.8 - I lost count didnt I?

Point No.9 - Too many gays - felt homophobic for periods of time. Especially when the Ang Moh uncle with nipple ring let this young thai looking dude lick his nipple. ARGH NIGHTMARES OF PD RE-OCCOURING?!!!

Bah... suddenly feel damn tulan after reliving the moments. I WILL GO SLEEP NOW. CONTINUE TOMOROW LAH CIBAI.

^_^

I spy with my new pair of eyes...

2005-12-08T00:48:00.000+08:00

What better way to ooze into my new "perspective" mode than to get myself a new pair of eyes aye?!

Well, its not actually 100% my bidding. The story goes like this - I wake up one day looking at the sunbeams shining though my window. I look at the mobile phone; "oh fuck me, I am going to be late for work!" I think to myself. I throw the phone down and catch a few more zzz's. Its just this strange habbit I have. I cant or rather, wont allow myself to get out of bed unless:

a) My phone alarm breaks the snooze cycle - limited to 1 hour
b) My phone alarm stops ringing due to dead battery
c) My dad wants me to fix the internet
d) My mom wants me to do something
e) All of the above do not happen, and the alarm clock is on a rounded off number

I think point "e" makes me late most of the days. I mean, look at the fucking alarm. Its 7.58am. How can some one wake up at such an hour. I always tell myself to sleep for another two minutes and wake up at 8. That way, things will be better. Same goes for 8.12am. I mean, fuck, just sleep for another 3 minutes and all will be good. Wake up at 8.15am. At least its rounded to the nearest five rite? WRONG! HOW THE HELL CAN YOU WAKE UP AT 8.15am?!! AT LEAST WAIT TILL ITS 8.20am!! And so the cycle goes till its either too damn irritating to keep putting the alarm clock on snooze or till its 8.30am and "if I dont wake up now, Im fucked".

So anyway, today I woke up at like 8.30am with my mom shouting into my ear. I left my ciggie boxes on the bed and couldnt be fucked if she saw them or not. She started telling me some stuff which I did not take the time to comprehend and ended up waking up trying to figure out what she just said. I searched the bed for my glasses only to pick up ONE FUCKING PIECE which was the right "arm". I looked at my bed in horror. OMFGWTFBBQ I slept on my RM800 pair of silouettes. CIBAI. Broke sial. FUCKING TITANIUM FRAME MY ASS. At least I know that I can break titanium now, but still... CIBAI TULAN LOR.

So I dug out my old glasses. Damn retro sial. Round half framed yellow tinted glasses. MAN! I put them on and got an instant headache. Did some printing for a boss and went to office. CIBAI DAMN DIZZY AND HEADACHE. Ate lunch and wondered around MV for a decent bargain. "RM129 PACKAGE PLUS LENS". Mahai sweet deal. I went into the optical shop next to carrefour. CIBAI all the frames like cock. Nevermind... cheap ma right? I test my eyes and find out that I do not qualify for the package lens. I have to add another RM300 for high index lenses. I say..."think about it"... but in the back of my mind - if today can then fuck it buy only. So I ask the dude "today can finnish ah?" and he goes "NO, 1 WEEK!! ^_^ ". Walaneh... 1 week right? KTHXBYE

Walk to Paris Miki, fuck the cheapest frame... RM300. Nevermind... Walk some more. Look at Gucci and Prada frames. RM800 - RM900. Nevermind. Go England Optical. End up with a RM100 frame, but have to pay RM300 for high index lens. Mahai print money meh. But what to do... Bo pien... then the frame look quite funky somemore... Since going SG for Zoukout.. might as well get something funky lor ho? FUCK SIGN CARD RM400 ... Pain sial... DAMN FUCKING PAIN.

Hailat lor.. This month credit card bill sure pecah. Already owe RM1500... Now add RM400 for glasses and RM350 for the stupid bottle I opened just to impress Amber. Burn sial... Wasted RM750 for nothing. Half month salary gone. Havnt even give salary to my mom yet. Sigh... Damn tulan.... Sigh... Poor lor.... Any girl need my services ah? I just charge RM188 for 45mins. Come la... Im good for 8 session bookings.

^_^

Good VS Bad

2005-12-02T00:01:00.000+08:00

It doesnt pay to do good. The good guy doesnt get the girl. Instead, the good guy ends up looking like a fool. The good guy ends up getting taken advantage of. The good guy always ends up with an empty pocket. The good guy always gets fucked over. The good guy never wins. The good guy becomes a loser.

Crime doesnt pay, but doing bad isnt always doing crime. "Nan ren bu huai, nu ren bu ai". The bad guy makes a fool out of ppl. The bad guy takes advantage of ppl. The bad guy ends up with bad money but its all good cos its still fucking money. The bad guy fucks people over. The bad guy doesnt win but he doesnt lose either.

Fuck it. I had enough of being the pseudo good guy. Doing good just doesnt pay off. I know first hand. Maybe Im being too tau fu. Maybe my mind got swayed off track by those "be nice to a girl, and she will be nice to you". Damn... if that logic is correct.. then I should be fucking naughty to the girl hence she will be naughty to me. ^_^

Ive had enough of being fucked over. Ive had enough of being the loser. Its time to grab whats rightfully mine. No point feeling ji pei when no one gives two fucks if you jumo or you dont. No point feeling sorry when no one cares if you are. Noo point being down when people only push you further into the dirt.

Fuck. I must do what Mr. Chris told me to do. Be confident. Dont bother about other peoples assurances. Dont wait for other peoples encouragement. Just take what is yours, and be confident about doing it. Thanks Mr. Chris. I took your advise last night but only followed it half-heartedly and as a result I only got half of what I wanted. FUCKER you are damn sharp. Should ask you for advise more often.

Oh well... Enough ranting. After tonight, its going to be do or die. Confidence ma! But enough of confidence and evil and good and bad and girl and fuck-all. I spent today being KULI. Cibai... felt like one of those buroh kasar carrying the fucking adidas stand. Fucking heavy man. 4 of us guys try to carry also almost break bones. Probably made of tampered iron or somethin...

At a glance, this fucker might not look too big... but look at how tall it is. Cibai its taller than me. Hell its taller than our fuckin booth!!!!

So, whats the big deal with the adidas stand? For one, it probably holds the most valuable prize that anyone else at Pikom PC Fair is giving away - a pair of adidas_1 trainers worth ........ R M 9 5 0. Holy bejebus... thats NINE HUNDRED AND FIFTY RINGGIT FOR A FUCKING PAIR OF TRAINERS. Hahahaha those punks are really gonna battle it out Im tellin ya!!

Spent the whole day with Mr. Ashley, the marketing dude (as seen posing with our buntings in the above picture) moving stuff, aranging stuff and eating the shit food they had in KLCC. For a convention center... its really sucks. End. At 11am, we boarded Mr. Firdaus' lorry to move stuff from our office to the venue. Damn. I fucking love lorries now. See how near the fucker tiong the guy in front!!!!

Crazy guy right? WRONG! ITS ALL AN OPTICAL ILLUSION. Look at the small mirror on the bottom right side. Mahai... thats why those idiots have those weird looking round mirrors on the side of the lorry, bus, van, etc. Cos if compared to car, these vehicles have no nose. Our car got the cibai nose makes tiong-ing harder to do ma!.

But before 11am, I went for breakfast with Mr. Surin. Over breakfast, we talked about what I should do. He recons I should just dont call Ms. Amber for a few days then call her back and see if she is worried about my dissapearance. Good idea Mr. Surin but you dont know Ms. Amber. From the way I see it, she wouldnt give two flying fucks if I called her or not. Bah, all the morning anger made my tummy churn so I headed over to the Boulevard Hotel for a crap. Office cannot sai and smoke ma!! But on my way out of the hotel, I saw this sad sad sign...

Sigh... looks like I will have to wait a lil longer before I can just cross the road from my office for a quick cheong... ^_^ Which reminds me... I got appointment tonight to go Eastin for a session. Would rather go to Mint tho... but a part of me wants to have dinner with Ms. Amber?!! OH FUCK LA... Im my own worst enemy. I cant even make out what Im thinking... Sigh.....

Fuck mornings

2005-12-01T09:40:00.000+08:00

As you can see... Im not much of a morning person...

From sien to 1-2-5!

2005-11-30T10:46:00.001+08:00

At Sunway Pyramid

Sien!

Ms. Lim doing the 1-2-5 poses!

ONE!

TWO!

FIVE!

Ice Tea & Fags @ Wong Kok

By "fags" I meant ciggies...

Mr. KY and his corn soup?!!

Damn Luan!

2005-11-30T00:18:00.000+08:00

I kena con today!
*Mental note to self: always forward events list to my Gmail account.

I had an event at 11 morning today. I went to work at 9am without a clue, chilled for about an hour, and found myself rushing out the door by 10. Took a fuck-long time to get a parking spot and ended up being late for the event.

Had an event at 2.30 pm .... and the majority vote (including that of my editor, hehe) was to go for lunch, then to the next venue @ Sunway Pyramid. Dammit... lunch lasted for about 30 minutes and we ended up in Pyramid at about 1 pm. I thought I could spend some time with my rivals but in seconds, they dispursed and was left to roam around the fucking lion complex alone. CCBKNNMCH damn sien lor....

Thought can play a few rounds of snook with boss... but I think I scared him off when he asked me about my snooker history. Bo bien mah... what I did in the past I did liau hahahaha... not my fault my parents went almost broke and I had to earn money from mah kei and snooker. Oh well... those were the days. Sad days in some way, happy in some. For once I was good at something. For once I was good at something I liked. Definately not like my previous job at HDPM. Walaneh... sure I was good at the job.. but thats only because the job required an IQ of 3 to master. CIBAI.

Ended up at home by 5.30. Damn fucking pei hai, so I logged onto my beloved mIRC. Had an interesting (?) chat with some random dudes but this part of the conversation really cracked me up.

Some dudes start talkin about Penang:
aH`Nic : Apple : near BJ Complex
goat`-MGY : wah... BJ complex
Apple : goat oso busy talk with bubble
goat`-MGY : hahahahah
SHiNE_gIrL: aH`Nic & DerricK: pls!!!!!!
goat`-MGY : BJ complex is where?
aH`Nic : goat`-MGY : BJ Complex near penang intel
bubble : kns uncle goat!
goat`-MGY : wah... like that intel staff ma always go to BJ complex?
aH`Nic : why call goat`-MGY must add uncle ler ??
bubble : chai simi?
bubble : coz he is uncle
goat`-MGY : we is family
aH`Nic : and why must add kns in fron of uncle ler ?
bubble : coz he is kns
goat`-MGY : BJ complex sell what wan
aH`Nic : goat`-MGY : BJ Complex sell thing 1
aH`Nic : lol
goat`-MGY : got sell BJ ah

* FYI goat`-MGY is me. Dont ask why the MGY or ask why "goat". Its a long story.

Ok... looking back... its not that funny any more... but damn it was at the time. So sue me. -_-

Bah... Proceeded for a 1 1/2 hour power nap. Woke up half stoned and proceeded to Chow Yang for my super tomyam seafood noodle. Best sial. And only RM10 thanks to sponsership from Ms. Lim! Hahahaha thanks you Ms. Lim!!!! Mr. KY was still coughing but insisted on having some dessert... and his craving for today: Tong Shui & Dan Tart (sweet water ?!! and egg tarts). KNNCCB 10pm where to find fucking dan tart? Hahahahahaha Ms. Lim had a jalan though - wait a few more hour and buy from those Dim Sum shop! Hahahahhahaha damn pei hai man..! Somehow, we endeed up in Wong Kok Cha Chan Teng and I persuaded Ms. Lim to do the 1-2-5 pose for me. Captured the pictures on the D600 but cibai... used the USB cable but can transfer images! Cibai oni can charge the phone via USB. Dammit... nvm tomorow go office I will bluetooth it to my computer!! HAHAHAHAHHA.... Still... cannot seem to persuade Mr. KY to do the pose. Niama... say only then the guy stare at me with the killer look.. scarry balls!!!

Sigh.. So since today no fresh picture to post then I guess I gotta post something "old" from my Korea trip? I was looking through the pics and I somehow, even though the guy in the pic isnt me (its Mr. Raymond LG from Singapore), but I feel like Im the guy in the pic. Sounds gay but sigh... damn luan la my head these few days. Talking about Korea, I "met" some of the dudes (uncles) whom I went to Korea with. Those guys... big guns from Zitron. KNN damn shy... see me only say "OIII KARAOKE KING"! CIBAIII DAMN SHY LEHH!!!!!

Why do I say I feel like the guy in the picture? Coz I feel that everything else around me is moving. Im the only thing thats just still in one place. Sigh... Life these few days really very luan. So many things to think about. So many things in my mind....

Ghosty pics

2005-11-28T18:49:00.001+08:00

Whoah... is it just me or do those pictures look a lil freaky to you? HOW THE FUCK DID THAT FACE GET IN THERE?!!!! ARGHHHH

Btw...I feel damn noob... I just found out that there is a program to upload pictures directly instead of doing them one by one... sigh.... SIGHH....

I would kill for a bottle of korean soju right now...

The weird dog I saw at Orchard during my last trip down South

Its NUTS!!!

2005-11-28T02:04:00.000+08:00

My weeks are getting worse and worse. Ever since I came back from Singapore, KL seems so fucking boring. Everyday I get stuck in the jam after work. IMAGINE BEING STUCK IN A 30 MINUTE JAM JUST TO GET THE FUCK OUT OF MID VALLEY'S ROADS. I mean... 30 minutes later, and Im still in the vacinity of Mid Valley. Jeezzzz.... Its so bad.. its not bad no more. Its just fucking horrible.

Then when I finally manage to get my fosilized car out of the jam, I have to decide where to go. I can go home to a tapau-ed dinner from my mom or I can give my friends a ring. I usually choose the latter. Once thats decided, the real fun starts.

WS: "WHERE TO EAT YA??"
MC: "Dunno la... you decide-lah"
WS: "TIU... why la... I work whole day liau.. brain cannot think"
MC: "TIU LEI... I NOT WORK AH!!"
WS: "OMFGWTFBBQ... okla you think then I think then when some one decide..."
MC: "ok set"

* 2 minutes later

WS: "Go there only lah..."
MC: "Again?"
WS: *tulan grunt
MC: "Ok lah... fuck it lets go"

* Both end up at location X for the n-th time this week.

*** WS = Wern Shen / MC = Mr. Chen

SIEN RIGHT? Imagine that for like 1 week. Its been that bad. But its not over. After dinner, we just stone at the said place for about 30 minutes before actually deciding either to: a) go to another place to continue stoning OR b) go home. Sien I tell you... so fucking sien. But its not either of our faults I guess. Since the gang sorta split ways due to various factors, its been this way. Gone are the days of non-stop retardism (is there such a word?) from stupid jokes passed up and down the table of sor hais. Damn, those were the days ei?

Oh but dont forget the wild card players - Mr. KY has returned from the land down under for three months so that should spice things up a lil. I've just attained a certain taste for Hi-NRG - so Im really looking forward for a night out at a club, and not to forget the Amber factor.

Hmmm... Lil miss Amber. She's a tough nut to crack. I just cant figure her out. On one hand, she's like ... unf unf... if only she would call me "oompahhh. WAH! STEAM. But the rest of her... damn. Is she into me the way Im into her? Is she ... *GASP* using me */END GASP*? Only God knows. And Im still waiting for her answer... Damn... How to squeeze an answer out of her apart from doing it with force? Heh heh heh ...

*Imagine mode*

(All conversations are held in cantonese, albiet - broken canto from me)

WS: "Amber lets go dinner tonight"
MA: "Oklo"

* 2 hours later at an undisclosed location far far away from civilization

MA: "Where are we going"
WS: "I bring you see nice nice thing"
MA: "Oklo"

* Car stops. Wern Shen looks at Miss Amber.

WS: "You still owe me an answer... is it..."
MA: "Ha?... I ...."
WS: "YOU DONT SAY, THEN YOU WALK HOME WOMAN"

* Seatbelt clicks, doors unlock.

MA: "Ei?"
WS: "Thanks for making it so subtle, and easy to bear"

* WS kicks Miss Amber out of the car

CAR: VVVRROOOOOOOMMMMmmm........

*Imagine mode off*

*SMACK SMACK SMACK* Damn I need to wake up. Im not saying Im hoping for a "No" but... I guess I am accustomed to always expect the worst from any situation. I really like her, and I hope she likes me, but ... ARGH. FUCK I STRAYED WAY OFF TOPIC NOW... CIBAI.

Fuck lah... now brain also koyak dunno what was I talking about - and too lazy to scroll back up.

Bah.. Well.. tonight me and the boys + girl went out for dinner at Wong Ah Wah @ Jln Alor. I took some pictures of it, but they are in the Samsung E600. Im not fucked to take out the cable now so I guess the pics got to wait..After a boring dinner of veggies, tofu, chicken wings and ikan bakar we headed off to Coconut House @ Pudu. Fuck I so love this place. If I were to propose to a girl, it would be here. Provided its not raining. And we are seated outside at the back. And there aint no mozzies around. And she likes me.

Pics were taken from the Dopod, so they are a lil blur.

Outside of the Coconut House @ Pudu

Inside abit

Coconut Coffee - fucking owns

Coconut Coffee and Hazlenut Puding(?!!)

MY FUCKING ROXOR PANNA CONNA

Mr. Chen & Ms. Ang

Mr. Lim & Mr. KY

Anti-social Mr. Chen

Why everyone playing phone?! Cibaii...

ZOMGWTFBBQ its the 1-2-5 pose! No. 1

No. 2

No. 5!!

Kick ass ashtray

At least it was pretty fun tonight compared to other days. Well... Its like 3 now... so Im gonna crash. Tomorrow is a new day?

^_^

I am backs!

2005-11-28T01:50:00.000+08:00

Guys, girls and those in between, the time (thing?) everyone has been waiting for is here.

Argh. Well. FUCK! (hahaha just had to slot that in!)

I made a shocking discovery. My life sucks. Things are so monotonous. Blog titles are limited to single word descriptions. Wow Im the fucking creative man just because Im a writer. I wake up and go to work, bitch around in the office waiting for lunch. Over eat when Im supposed to be on a self imposed diet then bitch about it later. I cant wait for the day to be over so I can leave the office, but when I do, I HAVE NOTHING THE FUCK TO DO only cause I fucked around too much in the office. I call my friends and we go out for dinner. We talk some cock and smoke some fags. Before we know it, were fucking stumpped and have no idea what to do next. We either end up playing DOTA or changing venue and continue our fucking wuliao yum cha session. I reach home too late for a good nights sleep, ponder if I should update my blog, and end up surfing porn instead. Look at the clock and OMFGWTFBBQ its already 2 am. Curse myself and go to sleep - but of course, 5 hours of sleep later I feel groggy and curse myself for not sleeping earlier.

Repeat that 7 days and as a result ... you get me.

Life has been shit. Life has been so shit, it makes shit look good. I might seem like Im having a good time but the truth is that Im not. Dont take me wrong - my dad is treating me good and my finances are... well... lets just leave that aside. Ive got a fucking wonderful job which I currently suck at, but my boss is gracious enough to give me time to settle in (instead of firing my fat ass). Im over weight. Im fat. I need to eat and drink less. I need to keep my room tidy. I need to keep my fucking office desk tidy. I need to start doing my work consistantly instead of leaving it all for 1 week before my deadline. I need to find someone to share my life with - without feeling sorry for myself for not having someone already. I need to stop listening to sappy love songs which make me feel even shittier than it already is. The James Blunt song is fucking wonderful, but listening to it 30 times a day is bound to fuck me up somehow. I need to stop thinking that everything is alright and will work itself out some how without me doing anything.

I need to zhng* my life.

* I never approved of these Singaporean slang terms, but well since I so need a change, then what the hell right?

Simple right? WRONG MOFO!

Lets see where I should start. I need to change the way I look at life. I need to stop smiling everytime, in an attempt to hide my true feelings. Im fucking sick of being that smily guy. Argh... Well at least I know that Im gonna seriously limit the amount of sob posts on my blog from now on. Yeah.. they are just gonna be BITCH posts now!

^_^

Oh well. Lets see how it goes aye?

Ultimatum

2005-11-23T01:58:00.000+08:00

Some might say its too fast, while some might call me down right stupid to do it. Some think I already am for going this far, others say Im desperate. But who cares right? Its me theyre talkin about. ME... Hahahaha...

Tomorrow (or technically today) will be when all things change - naturally, I hope its for the better too. Hell, I even broke my RM188 rule. Dammit.. there's sure something special about her.

So tomorrow, at lunch.. my hours of practice will finally be used "pratcially" if you might... What kind of reaction do I expect? I learned the hard way - always ... ALWAYS be prepared for the worst! So there you go.. Im going in with no expectations at all. Maybe if she's nice, she would just laugh it off and pretend nothing happend. Damn, talk about being confident in myself eh? Oh well....

Bah... its 2.20... I have 2 more articles to write before I can officially take it easy for the next 2 days. I have been letting my boss down allot recently... and I feel really shitty about it. I mean... ever since I started working, I have enjoyed "adapting" quickly to the job.

When I was doing sales, I met my quota within a week. I met the team quota within a month. Damn I was hot. Then when I started at HDPM, I was whizzing the system a week out of process training. I remember breaking the team record of 20 deals per day and then 30. All of that while doing weekly scorecards and what-nots handed out by mr AMO. DAMN i was good. Good enough to be a promotion candidate. But alas... too bad my heart wasnt with the job. I couldnt stand to see myself in the same place 1 year down the road. I know I might sound like I am blowing my own trumpet (TRUMPET OK.. I CANT REACH THE OTHER BLOWABLE THINGY).... but its true... I always liked being the best at what Im doin.. even though it might not be obvious... its true.

Thats why.. when people go "Oh wow... ur new job like so nice yaaa... sure dem enjoy horrr", I just shrug and say "oklor". Argh... the way they look at me... as if I was being cocky. But no... hell no... the truth is that its been 3 months.. thats rite.. THREE FUCKING MONTHS... and Im still SHIT at what Im doin. But the bosses have been very gracious about it. They took time to tell me what Im doin wrong and how to improve. I really tip my hat to them - for if my subordinate was to fuck up with such frequency as I, then well... he'd be fired :)

ARGH... its time to sleep. Fuck it all. Tomorrow is a new day. Lets just play it by ear.

me, in one of my many disguises

All Or Nothing - O-Town

I know when he's been on your mind
That distant look is in your eye
I thought with time you'd realize
It's over over
It's not the way I choose to live
And something somewhere's got to give
As sharing this relationship gets older older
You know I'd fight for you
But how I can fight someone who isn't even there
I've had the rest of you now I want the best of you
I dont care if that's not fair

Chorus:
Cause I want it all
Or nothing at all
There's no where left to fall
When you reach the bottom it's now or never
Is it all
Or are we just friends
Is this how it ends
With a simple telephone call
You leave me here with nothing at all

There are times it seems to me
I'm sharing you with memories
I feel it in my heart
But I dont show it show it
And then there's times you look at me
As though I'm all that you can see
Those times I don't believe it's right
I know know it

Don't me make me promises
Baby you never did know how to keep them well
I've had the rest of you
Now I want the best of you
It's time for show and tell

Chorus

Cause you and I
Could lose it all if you've got no more room
No room inside for me in your life
Cause I want it all
Or nothing at all
There's no where left to fall
It's now or never

Welcome

2005-11-15T23:40:00.000+08:00

Its 11.40 pm and Im dizzy. Had a lil too much beer and wine just now. Damn.. dont you hate it when you get drunk and swear to your self that this is the last time youre gonna drink, then find yourself barging through a crowd just to get yoru next free beer? Ironicly stupid i call it.

I was at a launch today. No idea what it was for actually. It didnt feel launch-y at all to be honest. Just felt like 1 big booze party - lots of ppl were really boozed up too!! I met the HP PR girls - allysa, poi fong and liven, hung out for a bit with yazeed and met charles ex colleagues too! Hmmm nice.... oh did I mention? Tonight was Charles big nite - his first night in the industry!!! Yeah the bugger is in this hell hole now too!

thinking back of my first day... damn i was blown away just by the pair of speakers i won from the sonic gear event i attended... fuckin charles lucky cunt get a free flow booze night on his virgin day. oh well... at least we all know he's not as good looking as me rite? hahahahhaha

oh well... i really should be working but im too dizzy and sleepy to.. i guess ill set the allarm for early tomorrow and try to get some stuff finished. gah... work !!!!!!!!!

p.s. thinkin of u grl... tonite dinner ... mmm ... cant wait to see u... unf unf ja ja ja jamajai jamajai jai

p.s.s. for those of u who dont know, i have changed my msn from "Lonely Driver" to "Dracula". Dont ask why :)

Hat-trick

2005-11-12T02:05:00.000+08:00

"Thats not pro, thats luck."
- Quote from a the SS2 Commie

Jeez... two trips within in three weeks... damn im exhausted! Oh and to think of the amount of work I need to catch up with in the office.... gahh~!!!

I guess everything comes with a price! :)

Anyways my recent Singapore trip was smashing - big up to mr chen and to the slut. Thanks for making the trip a memorable one. Oh and slut, I hope this marks the beginning for a long and healthy relationship between our two countries... lol.

I was in Singapore for the MAX 2005 Macromedia conference, and all I can say is - Flash just got flashier! The things Jap's manage to do with flash is just amazing. Here'a an example of work from a certain mr yugo: http://www.jump-in.jp. Sure it might look confusing at first, but take a closer look and you will know what I mean. Tip: its not just the content - its the concept.

Bah, its 2.30 in the morning and Im beat. A more approriate entry for tomorrow I guess. Enough giberish and unplanned rants from me for now. Lets just say... it feels like its all a big dream at the moment..

Ms. PC.Com: This bugger damn lucky. First it was the Shuffle, then it was the notebook.... now this!!

Can you say dooota?! - Doota shopping mall @ Dung Dei Moon - Korea

Pinch Me - Barenaked Ladies

It's the perfect time of year
Somewhere far away from here
I feel fine enough, I guess
Considering everything's a mess
There's a restaurant down the street
Where hungry people like to eat
I could walk but I'll just drive
It's colder than it looks outside

It's like a dream you try to remember
But it's gone
Then you try to scream
But it only comes out as a yawn
When you try to see the world
Beyond your front door
Take your time, is the way I rhyme gonna make you smile
When you realize that a guy my size might take a while
Just to try to figure out what all this is for

It's the perfect time of day
To throw all your cares away
Put the sprinkler on the lawn
And run through with my gym shorts on
Take a drink right from the hose
And change into some drier clothes
Climb the stairs up to my room
Sleep away the afternoon

Like a dream you try to remember
But it's gone
Then you try to scream
But it only comes out as a yawn
When you try to see the world
Beyond your front door
Take your time is the way I rhyme gonna make you smile
When you realize that a guy my size might take a while
Just to try to figure out what all this is for

Pinch me, pinch me, cause I'm still asleep
Please God tell me that I'm still asleep

On an evening such as this
It's hard to tell if I exist
If I pack the car and leave this town
You'll notice that I'm not around
I could hide out under there
I just made you say "underwear"
I could leave but I'll just stay
All my stuff's here anyway

Like a dream you try to remember
But it's gone
Then you try to scream
But it only comes out as a yawn
When you try to see the world
Beyond your front door
Take your time is the way I rhyme gonna make you smile
When you realize that a guy my size might take a while
Just to try to figure out what all this is for

Pinch me
Try to figure out what all this is for
Pinch me
Try to see the world beyond your front door
Pinch me
Try to figure out what all this is for

Sightings

2005-10-13T00:00:00.000+08:00

ZOMGWTFBBQ!

Overnighter 2

2005-10-11T20:31:00.000+08:00

Its been a bloody month since my last post. Coincidentaly it was during my last office overnighter. Wow. Really hope this trend doesnt last coz it can only lead to one of two things - either my blog gets really really scattered posts or I overnight more in the office. Argh...

Anyway as usual, lots of shit has happened since my last post. I met a really nice girl over the past few weeks and things are progressing pretty well - well at least from my of view. Work has been good to me. I recently won an iPod Shuffle from a "LUCKY DRAW". Oh the irony of it. Makes me kinda sceptical towards future lucky draws of the sort. Oh, and I found out how these SMS contests work. I mean... JESUS CHRIST... they really DO keep track of your messages.

DJ Quest was not too bad but I for one was quite dissapointed with the results. Personally I thought that DJ Afen was the best, and Im sure lots of people thought the same too. He won the peoples vote award by quite a huge margin which was not disclosed on the night. Well since the night has passed, off the record that is, he won by almost 80% of votes. The eventual champions - Assault & Battery - only had about 1% of the votes. I guess either all the voters liked Afen, were too drunk to vote, or had no significance at all in the final judging.

*shameless self babble starts* Bah.. who cares. I got my iPod nyeh nyeh nyeh. *shaneless self babble ends*

I met this girl the other day, a sister of a friend of a friend... and man... I cant seem to get her out of my head. Those who knew me during my HSBC days would know the criteria that I had set those days for the "perfect girl". God Damn she fit every damn criteria (ok ok I'll list them out for the benefit of those who actually WANT to know what they are) - she was petite, she had small hands, she had long hair, she spoke with a very chinese accent, she spoke chinese, she had a super cute button nose and she like to wear short skirts! Well I can forget everything else about her... but not that nose. If only her eyes and chin were abit sharper... she'd be a faye wong clone.. abiet a short faye wong clone. MMMMM....

Well... a few flirty sentences here and there, and she went back to Singapore. Damn... too bad too bad... but anyway, even if she were still here, it would never work out. I mean.. hell.. she's all LV and Gucci from head to toe.. how's a guy like me gonna keep up to that kinda life. It would be like a scene from The Lady and the Tramp (no, not The Lady is a tramp!). Its like corner shop indian grocer vs mother fuckin TESCO. I LOL-ed.

One word to sum it up - infactuation.

Aww... whatever rite? Its back to the cotton fields for me!

You're Beautiful - James Blunt

My life is brilliant.
My love is pure.
I saw an angel.
Of that I'm sure.
She smiled at me on the subway.
She was with another man.
But I won't lose no sleep on that,
'Cause I've got a plan.

You're beautiful. You're beautiful.
You're beautiful, it's true.
I saw your face in a crowded place,
And I don't know what to do,
'Cause I'll never be with you.

Yeah, she caught my eye,
As we walked on by.
She could see from my face that I was,
Flying high,
And I don't think that I'll see her again,
But we shared a moment that will last till the end.

You're beautiful. You're beautiful.
You're beautiful, it's true.
I saw your face in a crowded place,
And I don't know what to do,
'Cause I'll never be with you.

You're beautiful. You're beautiful.
You're beautiful, it's true.
There must be an angel with a smile on her face,
When she thought up that I should be with you.
But it's time to face the truth,
I will never be with you.

Overnighter

2005-09-16T02:38:00.000+08:00

Its 2.38 in the morning and im still in the office. I barely slept 4 hours last night and surprisingly im not feeling sleepy yet. Could it be all the coffee that I drank over the course of today? Or is it the want of not wanting to fuck up my job?

I have qutie a few pieces of work to complete before I can call it a night, and I guess I could get away with leaving a few undone, but I guess deep inside me I know that I dont want to, or rather, cant afford to fuck up and miss deadlines. At least not now.

I guess the only thing I can do is cheer myself on till I get everything done. Oh well...

Quized

2005-09-15T21:58:00.000+08:00

Which File Extension are You?

NY

2005-09-08T13:19:00.000+08:00

Woot.

Leveled

2005-09-07T01:42:00.000+08:00

After 3 long days of hard work, I finally manage to change job to Merchant! Woo hoo!

Special shoutout to the two kind merchants who very generously gave me an EQ and Zenny boost today too! Thanks!

Freebies

2005-09-06T22:53:00.000+08:00

As the powers above would have it, I have been given a few extra invites for this years Heineken DJ Quest complimentary of Juice magazine (thanks guys!). This invite only event will be going down on the 24th of September 2005 at Zouk. Each invite lets in two people so grab a partner and drop me a line to get yourself one of these invites.

On a different note, my first issues of Stuff and PC Magazine are out. Heh heh heh....

Pain!

2005-08-23T02:03:00.000+08:00

How do I put this in a nice way? I guess there is none - IM A LUCKY BASTARD! In the past 3 weeks I have used more mobile phones, driven more cars and met more beautiful ladies than I had in the previous 10 months. Hell, I even got interviewed. No wonder my editor had the cheek to tell me "the best part about this job is feeling that you are living beyond your means".

Now that the excitement has been released, its time to start bitching.

I love my new job. I always had a passion for writting, but as the good man upstairs would have it, all things come in balance. I painfully realized that as my passion for writting grew, so did my fucking habbit of procrastinating. Take an easy example - the more I start getting involved with my blog, the wider the gap between posts become. Now replace "blog" with "work", "gap" with "delay" and "posts" with "articles" . If this keeps going on, Im practically fucking myself over. I dont want to end up "a good writter but a crappy journalist".

I have met more beautiful women in the past 3 weeks than I have in the past 10 months - on the job of course. Being cooped up between four concrete walls in the middle of fucking bonfire capital isnt fun. Trust me. Imagine going out for a smoke one fine day (ignore the burning forests) and you spot a pretty chinese lady. While thinking of a lame excuse to walk over and introduce yourself, you notice that your very same thought is flashing through the minds of the entire male population in the smoking bay. Oops, youre too late. Someone has already got her attention. You stub out your fag and walk back to your cubicle feeling like a looser. These days, I step into an event and behold, you see lovely sights walking around everywhere. Play your cards right and you might just get their phone number. Too bad reality soon kicks in, and you realise that there is a fine line between being friends and being (work) acquaintences. Trust me, if you think not getting a girls phone number is bad; getting one and not being able to call them out for a (social) drink is even worse.

Sure, maybe one out of ten (thousand) girls might have a tiny percentage of intrest in you but ....... ARGH..... Pain... thats all I can say to describe it. It's like your mother giving you a bag of your favorite candy. Just as you reach into the bag, your mom says "You can keep the candy but if you eat it, YOU WILL CHOKE ON IT AND DIE YOU STUPID HOMOFAG". Pain..... so pain.....

Back to the bright side - Im off to another event today. I wonder if I will meet her again.....

Eurythmics - Sweet Dreams

Sweet dreams are made of this
Who am I to disagree?
Travel the world and the seven seas
Everybody's looking for something
Some of them want to use you
Some of them want to get used by you
Some of them want to abuse you
Some of them want to be abused

Sweet dreams are made of this
Who am I to disagree?
Travel the world and the seven seas
Everybody's looking for something
Some of them want to use you
Some of them want to get used by you
Some of them want to abuse you
Some of them want to be abused

I wanna use you and abuse you
I wanna know what's inside you
(Whispering) Hold your head up, movin' on
Keep your head up, movin' on
Hold your head up, movin' on
Keep your head up, movin' on
Hold your head up, movin' on
Keep your head up, movin' on
Movin' on!

Sweet dreams are made of this
Who am I to disagree?
Travel the world and the seven seas
Everybody's looking for something
Some of them want to use you
Some of them want to get used by you
Some of them want to abuse you
Some of them want to be abused

I'm gonna use you and abuse you
I'm gonna know what's inside
Gonna use you and abuse you
I'm gonna know what's inside you

Troopseses?!

2005-08-16T16:17:00.000+08:00

I know I havnt been posting much.. So much so that I even started feeling guilty about it... but what can I say rite? :)

Anyways, this really brightened up my day, and I hope it will yours.

Dont buy pirated DVD, thats what you get!

Breadcrumbs.

2005-08-08T19:21:00.000+08:00

This whole week has been a roller coaster ride for me. I started a new job, I broke and mended (hopefully) a life long friendship. I got to test a Ford Everest (almost mashed it to pieces) and went through a whole week with a 3G phone without being able to test its 3G-ness. Oh and I found out that my friend applied for my job too. Oh and my home pc blew up. How nice. So much for being a writter... I cant even express my mind now....

Duplex.

2005-08-03T08:52:00.000+08:00

What does this.....

have in common with this?

Good things come in pairs! Well at least for this week they sure do. More on these later....

Revelations.

2005-07-31T22:19:00.000+08:00

As the month of July comes to an end, so does another saga of my life.

I finally discovered what being a gracious looser means. Accepting defeat with a smile on your face never seemed so satisfying. Knowing you tried your best never and still failed felt so gratifying. Learning from your mistakes never seemed so fulfilling.

I played with fire. At first it was so exciting. I loved the thrill of almost getting burned, and the satisfaction of getting away unscathed. Oh well, at least thats what I thought. But knowing now that the only result of playing with fire is getting burned, I guess I should have done things in a diffrent way.

At least I know what caused this major fuck up - myself. I never had control over myself. I could not harness my emotions, I could not leash my own actions. In the end, everything came back to me. In the end I imploded.

Oh well, I guess the saying "When God closes one door, He opens another" will be my personal mantra for the future. On a related note, I found it funny how a comic strip can be so right for the moment. Check out today's Broom Hilda strip in The Star.

Anyways, its time to hit the sack. I got a big day tomorrow - the last 48 hours have been my most taxing in a while.

Cake - I Will Survive Lyrics

At first I was afraid, I was petrified
I kept thinkin' I could never live without you by my side
But then I spent so many nights just thinking how you’ve done me wrong
And I grew strong, I learned how to get along

And so you're back from outer space,
I just walked in to find you here with that, that look upon your face
I should have changed my fucking lock
I would have made you leave your key
If I’d have known for just one second you'd be back to bother me.

Oh now go, walk out the door
Just turn around now, you're not welcome anymore.
Weren't you the one who tried to break me with desire?
Did you think I'd crumble? Did you think I'd lay down and die?

Oh not I, I will survive
Yeah, as long as I know how to love, I know I'll be alive.
I've got all my life to live,
I've got all my love to give,
I will survive

I will survive
Yeah, yeah...

(SOLO)

It took all the strength I had just not to fall apart,
I’m tryin' hard to mend the pieces of my broken heart
And I spent oh so many nights just feelin' sorry for myself,
I used to cry
But now I hold my head up high.

And you’ll see me with somebody new
I'm not that stupid little person still in love with you.
And so you thought you’d just drop by and you expect me to be free,
But now I'm saving all my lovin' for someone who's lovin' me,

Oh now go, walk out the door.
Just turn around now, you're not welcome anymore.
Weren't you the one who tried to break me with desire?
Did you think I'd crumble? Did you think I'd lay down and die?

Oh not I, I will survive
Yeah, as long as I know how to love I know I'll be alive,
I've got all my life to live,
I've got all my love to give,
I will survive

I will survive
Yeah, yeah

Bacardi 151

2005-07-29T04:50:00.000+08:00

Its funny how a little drink can set your mind straight innit?

The past few days have been a roller coaster ride for me. I had my high highs, and I had my low lows. In a nutshell, I cant help to hope that all my days are going to be filled with nothing but high-ness, but I got to be realistic aye?

Today was a day of revelations for me, both emotionaly and, well you could say physically.

Ive gone though lots of shit in the past, but nothing can add up to the shit I had to put myself through in the past 48 hours. Dont you hate it when emotions take over your brain? Dont you hate it when you let your dark secret slip out due to one drink too many? You could probably call me a daft fool who couldnt keep his drinks in.

I could not disagree. But what has been said has been said, regret? Maybe. But being the manly man that I am, I decided to confront it instead of casually pushing the blame on a cup of Jack and Coke. Yes, I will regret the things I said, and if I could do it all over again, I would do it diffrently. Sad I know, maybe this is not what you want to hear (read) but this is the honest truth.

Oh well, if only I could press that huge undo button up in the sky. But well I cant. So here I am, ranting on my blog, downing cups of 151 at 5.30 in the morning.

On a lighter note, today will mark my last day in the HDPM. So, as I look back on the past 11 months that I spent there, I realize one thing. Here is where friendships were made, and broken. Here is where I met her. And as 95% of the other people who left or are leaving HDPM will say, the thing that I love the most about this place is the people.

Damn. People. I met many of those here. Just want to say thanks to those who influenced my life - for better or for worse. Sorry to whom I should appologize, and a big FUCK YOU to those who deserve it.

Come Monday, I will get my life back. I really hope I do, but for now, I am still - for the third consecutive year - *drumroll* just a lonely driver.*end drumroll*

7 shots and I am still standing. New personal record.

Ngoi Yu Sing

kei sat ji gei yat go gam hoi sam ji dang nei gong
kei sat daai ga jou yi yim daai ga keuk baan mong
han yau dor yat dim pung jong ying yin mou liu si gon bat gam da gaau deun fong
yiu si nei yun yi sing sat gong yat tong, bei chi dou hei ma gaau dak sik fong

bat yiu huk ngo ya yan dak liu je se nin loi di wai kuk
mut faat jan sam ngoi ha heui ,ji hou jan sam jan yi di git chuk

*bit joi jou ching yan jou ji maau jou ji gau bat jou ching yan
jou ji chung mat ji siu ho ngoi mai yan wo nei bat chau bat choi
jeui jung ji wui sing wai dik yan (wo nei seung gaau bat chin mou wai ming yat wui bei nei jang)
leun wai gau pang yau si fau yau ching sam mut yau sam ji jeung haan yan yeuk yau hung
naan dou yau hung ho jip man jyu ding chi gwo lou yan mak saang nei jam mo sau jan
(je yu gou faat ji kin sing noi sam)*

cheung kei bei bik lyun ngoi ya jan bei sat lyun ang chaam
cheung kei baan yin yeuk mou kei si boon ang kwan naan
si ngo jyun dang faan ying maan ming ming wai si sam maan paai yat jou goi yiu taan
joi jeung ngo boon leui ying mong do yat ngaan yat saang dou jeung wui gei dak gam maan

Repeat *

deui bat hei ji dung fan sau cho ngok di nei pa wui seung gam
maang muk di ngo yin joi ya ho jyun toi loi ho nei san saang

Repeat *

Maybe?

2005-07-22T06:06:00.000+08:00

I just re-discovered my liking for songs in the Malay (ok Indo actually) language, Ive been spamming Mungkin Nanti for the past 3 days and I must admit, this song is one hell of a catchy one.

What more could I ask for? Tone wise - catchy, vocal wise - strong, lyric wise - applicable to current situation.

Damn, if only we lived in one big musical. This song would definatly be on the soundtrack.

Peter Pan - Mungkin Nanti

Saatnya ku berkata mungkin yang terakhir kalinya
Sudahlah lepaskan semua kuyakin inilah waktunya
Mungkin saja kau bukan yang dulu lagi
Mungkin saja rasa itu telah pergi

Dan mungkin bila nanti kita kan bertemu lagi
Satu pintaku jangan kau coba tanyakan kembali
Rasa yang kutinggal mati
Seperti hari kemarin saat semua disini

Dan bila hatimu termenung bangun dari mimpi2mu
Membuka hatimu yang dulu cerita saat bersamaku
Mungkin saja kau bukan yang dulu lagi
Mungkin saja rasa itu telah pergi

Dan mungkin bila nanti kita kan bertemu lagi
Satu pintaku jangan kau coba tanyakan kembali
Rasa yang kutinggal mati
Seperti hari kemarin saat semua disini

Tak usah kau tanyakan lagi simpan untukmu sendiri
Semua sesal yang kau cari semua rasa yang kau beri

Trapped!

2005-07-19T06:25:00.000+08:00

Forbidden fruit. Hmm. They always look the most attractive dont they? Hell, I even hear they taste the best. But, yes there is a "but" involved here, in partaking of the forbidden fruit, one has to deal with the consequences that proceed it.

Here I am, staring at the forbidden fruit. I now only dream of the sweetness it holds. I only imagine the happiness it could bring. I can see the darkness that lies ahead it. Because of this, I hesitate. I know that one of only two things will happen if indeed I do take in this fruit. Fifty fifty chances never really tickled my fancy, but somehow it feels that this challenge is calling out to me. Its slowly but surely trying to tempt me into it. I only hope I can be sober enough to decide rationally.

Dont blame me for not being strong enough. I am but a regular man - and since the very beginning of man, has man succumbed to temptation. God's first creations succumbed to temptation - how can I not?

But as this fruit continues to grow ripe while still out of my reach, I can already feel the retribution that awaits. It scares me, but at the same time it excites me. Should I drop down all that I have to take the gamble? Should I do that which I know is wrong, just to have a nibble of it?

I have been hungry, so hungry, for so long.

What can I do?

Relief?

2005-07-14T13:30:00.000+08:00

These past few days have been harsh on me both physically and mentally. Hopefully if all goes well, tomorrow will bring in a new chapter in my life.But Im just worried about how I will get through today. My gang jahat and I have caused nothing but havoc in the office recently. I just hope today can pass without a hicup.

Crossroads.

2005-07-12T07:07:00.000+08:00

My life is at a crossroads - but isnt it always?

What happenes within the next 3 days will shape my future. Damn. Sounds like a whole lot of responsibility. Am I ready for it?

Its funny how we spend 12 years of our life in school, 4 years in college, spend a couple of years working and eventually end up with nothing set in our minds. Goals come and go, dreams come and go. Ambitions are born, careers are chased. Ideas are considered, plans are executed. Eventually, as you steer yourself to what you think is the right track, you realise that you are heading the in the wrong direction.

In essence, isnt life all about making the right choices? But what if you havent? What if I had paid more attention during school? What if I hadnt had to go through the hardships I had to face during my college days? What if I had worked harder when I should have? Where would I be now? Would I still be in the same state of mind that I am currently in?

As you slowly realise that you are not what you could have been, or what you should have been and that you did not do what you could have done, or what you should have done, does your life loose the value you have given it?

Why are there so many questions running through my head? Im not ready to handle them. I dont dare face them. But I cannot run away from them.

Angela Chang - Journey

It's A Long Long Journey
Till I Know Where I'm Supposed To Be
It's A Long Long Journey
And I Don't Know If I Can Believe
When Shadows Fall And Block My Eyes
I Am Lost And Know That I Must Hide
It's A Long Long Journey
Till I Find My Way Home To You

Many Days I've Spent
Drifting On Through Empty Shores
Wondering What's My Purpose
Wondering How To Make Me Strong

I Know I Will Falter I Know I Will Cry
I Know You'll Be Standing By My Side
It's A Long Long Journey
And I Need To Be Close To You

Sometimes It Feels No One Understands
I Don't Even Know Why
I Do The Things I Do
When Pride Builds Me Up Till I Can't See My Soul
Will You Break Down These Walls And Pull Me Through

Cause It's A Long Long Journey
Till I Feel That I Am Worth The Price
You Paid For Me On Calvary
Beneath Those Stormy Skies

When Satan Mocks And Friends Turn To Foes
It Feel Like Everything Is Out To Make Me Lose Control
Cause It's A Long Long Journey
Till I Find My Way Home To You.